This was actually a really great week for TV, so narrowing doown the much anticipated TV Quote of the Week was a little more difficult than usual, but nevertheless, I got one for ya!!
This week's quote comes from ABC's Wednesday hit comedy - Modern Family. Although I'm occasionally "luke warm" on this show, the hidden gem, my favorite character, and the funniest kid on TV, Luke Dunphy, hits yet another grand slam!
Phil and Claire are breaking the news to their kids that they may have decided to be surrogates for Claire's brother Mitchell and his partner Cam, in order to help in their endeavor to have a son together. Already well familiar with Cam & Mitchell's 1st child, 3 year old Lilly, Luke (her cousin, mind you) had THIS to say:
Phil:"There was a discussion about the possibility of your mom donating an egg so that the guys could have a baby ..."
Claire: "But we decided it was NOT a good idea."
Luke:"Why? Because Lilly's such a mess?"
Phil: "For a LOT of reasons! They have--"
Luke:"--But, we can agree that she's a disaster as a human being."
GOLD!!!!
Watch Modern Family, Wednesday nights @ 9pm, on ABC.
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EJ WON'T LET YOU DOWN - The OFFICIAL Non-Football related Entertainment Blog of the
New York Giants
So Thursday night was the 2 episode series premiere of MTV's newest big investment, I Just Want My Pants Back, a sexy, coming-of-age comedic drama about hip 20-somethings trying to make it in New York City. Yep. I know. Been there. Done that. Who cares? Right? ... Well with THAT kind of attitude, you'll never try and discover new things. So, slipping 'the Pants' on? ... I found 'em pretty comfy!
The show centers around cool, "everyman" Jason (Peter Vack), his best friend Tina (Kim Shaw), and their 2 buds from college, Stacey & Eric (Elizabeth Howser and Jordan Carlos), the "positively directed, upwardly mobile, interracial couple" that most people aspire to be like. Tina plays the field and tries not to get emotionally invested in her male conquests, Jason works to get over the one-night-stand he can't quite forget, and Stacey & Eric study for grad school and belabor over shopping for the perfect mattress together.
Overly romanticizing the NYC living experience is always something I take personally in a TV show and am critical towards, but 'Pants' doesn't totally suck at it. How to Make it in America(which will be missed, God Damn You, HBO ...) was the only show that ever got it the most right, but 'Pants' paints the 'Brooklyn pseudo-hipster lifestyle' portrait pretty well - Crappy jobs - "Meh" apartments - Artsy friends with "yeah, I guess so" social lives - Overly familiarized relationships with the local Indian deli owner ... 'Pants' makes it all works. Plus, someone is ALWAYS having basic cable sex at some point before a commercial break.
I Just Want My Pants Back is fun and funny and light-hearted and doesn't take itself too seriously, not at all trying to make any kind of statement,(which MTV has been notorious for) ... And its just relatable enough ...
Give 'the Pants' a shot! ... I think you'll like how they feel.
I Just Want My Pants Back airs Thursdays @ 11pm on MTV.
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EJ WON'T LET YOU DOWN - The OFFICIAL Non-Football related Entertainment Blog of the
New York Giants
Back again with yet another double dose of TV Quote of the Week! ... I usually weed it down to just 1 quote, but this week was a good one for TV so you're getting 2. Deal with it.
The 1st comes to you from, once again, one of the very BEST comedies on TV, ABC's Happy Endings! I mean, this show has so many winners, its impossible to overlook them. This week was no exception, with Penny reveling in her success at "changing her boyfriend for the better", and Alex flatly offering the GREATEST, most note-perfect response to ANY egocentric tirade ever:
Penny: "I'm gonna start a blog ... Or a Twitter ... *gasp* And then it'll become a TV series starring Alyssa Milano!"
Alex: "Boy, I wish MY last name was a cookie."
Everyone on Happy Endings is awesome, but Elisha Cuthbert is truly one of it's secret weapons.
Happy Endings - Wednesday nights @ 9:30p on ABC.
And then the 2nd Quota-licious TV snippet comes to you from one of the most UNLIKELY of sources! MTV's Jersey Shore! Well, if it were Pauly D or Snooki or something, then it wouldn't be such a surprise, but nope! This winner comes straight from ... Sammi "Sweetheart"?! ... Is that Right?? ... Yep! Believe it! Sammi had some HIGH-LARIOUS shit to say about the Situation's latest jump-off, ranking as one of the best Compli-Disses I've heard in a very long time.
Sammi:"I actually really like Paula. She may be dirty and grimy and disgusting ... But she's just a nice girl!"
And that's why she's called "Sweetheart".
Watch Jersey Shore - Thursday nights @ 10pm on MTV.
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This week's quotable is brought to you from the very BEST comedy (till maybe Cougar Town comes back) on ABC, Happy Endings. The definition of "a comedy" is a show that brings laughter by design, and when that show's ensemble cast can make you literally and genuinely LOL each ep? You've really got something there.
In the (likely) case that you're a clueless shell of a man (or woman) who needs it spelled out for them, the list order of best ABC comedies go like this:
#1 - Happy Endings #2 - The Middle #3 - ? #4 - ? #5 - Modern Family
Fact! For reasons like the following scene where the group discusses the complexities of sisterhood, divorce, and letting street performers use your bathroom:
Penny:"I always wanted a sibling. But the closest I ever got to a kid sister was a 'My Buddy doll'."
Max: "Why didn't you just get a 'Kid Sister doll'?"
And, as a special bonus, this 1 time only - an EXTRA quote of the week! What, what?! Yeah, don't say 'EJ never feeds ya'!
The bonus quote comes from a little show on Vh1 that I like to call (because that's it's name)Love & Hip-Hop, a monday night hour of awesomeness if you enjoy the 'lowest common denominator' that only Reality TV can deliver, as much as I do!
Every other week, SOMEONE is getting stomped, either figuratively or literally, and just so long as its not Olivia, I'm happy. These women are awesome ... and completely nuts. I thought POSSIBLY Teairra Mari was the stable one of the lot, but nope! She let her own insanity show this past week as she saw her producer talking business with someone that WASN'T her, and couldn't help but interject.
Teairra Mari:"Olivia? She's doing her fuckin job. And kudos to you, bitch. Whoop, whoop." *irrational laughter* "But ..." *more irrational laughter* "... at the same time, my ass has to think about MY ass."
Granted, I only started watching this season, but that sorta came outa nowhere as Teairra, up until that point, had been the calming voice of unbiased reason for everyone else. That being said, you gotta love the glossy 'I'm not the least bit understanding right now' look in her eyes, as she laughed through her growing hostility.
Watch Love & Hip Hop. Mondays @ 8pm on Vh1.
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Thursday night marked the Season Premiere of arguably the funniest show on TV, NBC's 30 Rock.
It coulda earned TV Quote of the Week, but honestly, as prestigious as that award is, there was so much good stuff in this premiere episode, trimming it down to simply 1 quote just wouldn't have been doing the show it's true justice.
It was almost an episode out of Bizarro World, as everything was right, but nothing was the way it was supposed to be. Liz was happy and pleasant, to everyone's surprise and concern, not letting the usual work place stresses and shenanigans affect her. And Jenna was the same old Jenna, only "effective" and actually SUCCEEDING in her self-centered indulgence as star host of a hit new reality show called America's Kids Got Singing. (along with D'Fwan and John McEnroe)
"The only show I've ever been on that got a 10.2 was when Mickey Rourke threw me onto the field during the Super Bowl"
There was also an awesome side story with Kenneth quite happily believing the Rapture was imminent, saying his goodbyes to most of the people, which he believed were headed to various hells, (including "Black Hell" and "Women's Hell"), and fulfilling his own personal bucket-list, which only seemed to include MORE work around the office.
Oddly enough, Kenneth actually believed that post-Rapture, he'd see Tracy (of all people) in heaven ...
Tracy didn't know which end was up as his usual antics went completely disengaged by Liz Lemon, and Jack suffered a crisis of conscience, in perhaps the best scene of the night, where he debates canceling the wildly successful America's Kids Got Singing, through a frank, heart-to-heart discussion with newborn daughter Liddy.
Awesome!
So glad this show is back. Thursday IS, once again, the best night on television. And so as not to spoil too much, you should catch the full episode online to find out exactly WHAT was up with Liz. Its truly an epic start for the season!
Watch 30 Rock, Thursdays @ 8pm on NBC!
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First off - Happy New Year. Second - Fuck you. I'm back, ok?
And now, an edible piece of awesome I heard about last week that I wanted to share - The Darth Vader Burger. Yep! It's a thing.
To help celebrate and promote the latest 'Lucas Money Grab', known as "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace rerelease this February, now in 3D", the fast food chain in France, known as "Quick", has come up with signature, movie themed burgers.
The ingredients are pretty standard - Beef patties, pepper sauce, cheddar cheese, etc. But its still yet to be revealed just HOW they create the black bun! ... And personally? I don't care. It looks fuckin AWESOME, and I'd do anything to get my hands on one! If you never had a reason to go to France before, now you do, and please bring one back for me. Thanks. But hurry. The burger is only available till March.
FYI - They also have 2 other burgers - The Jedi Burger, which looks like a standard run of the mill burger, but with mozzarella cheese cubes in it, and The Darth Maul Burger, which is a lot like The Darth Vader Burger, but with a reddish hued bun ... Lame! Stick with Vader.
love,
EJ
Don't forget to click Follow or Join this Site! ... and get more insight and shenanigans on Twitter @DarkOcean
I like topical as much as ANYONE, but rediscovering Passenger 57 on the Encore Channel in the middle of the night, I couldn't help but weigh in on this Wesley Snipes gem from 1992. Did you even REMEMBER he was an "action star"??! ... Yeah, me neither.
Anyways, Passenger 57 was about as bad as I recalled, ranking somewhere between God Awful and Unwatchable ... even under camp or nostalgic pretenses. Crappy villain. Stupid premise. Hammy everything else. It's pretty much exactly the same film as 1994's Drop Zone, also starring Snipes, but at least Drop Zone had Malcolm Jamal Warner AND Gary Busey ... I'm just saying ...
And doesn't Wesley's flight attendant/love interest in 57, played by "who cares?", look just like Michael Jackson? Awesome! ... and Creepy. But, if nothing else, she NAMED the unnamable movie by literally counting the passengers aloud (cuz that's what flight attendants do, apparently) - " ... 54, 55, 56 ... 57 ..." (Snipes was #57 ... At least watch THAT part. It's totally worth it)
Nevertheless, for everything Passenger 57 did wrong, it still offered up one of the (still today) most laughably terrible catch phrases in action movie history:
Hahahahahahahahahaha .... oh, gosh .... Stay up late, people. That's when TV is at its FINEST.
Don't forget to click Follow or Join this Site! ... and get more insight and shenanigans on Twitter @DarkOcean
Don't forget to click Follow or Join this Site! ... or get more insight and shenanigans on Twitter @DarkOcean
