American IDLE ...

The ratings may say otherwise, but I find it hard to believe that people are still watching American Idol. I mean, sure. It's not the ratings juggernaut it once was, but it's still, after all these years, the biggest thing on Fox and on MOST networks, enough so much that Fox still devotes like what? HALF of it's prime lineup to either air or promote it?

(Look! There's Christian Slater!)

Whatevz. I peeked in again to see how things were shaping up this year, and ... bleh. Lame. Despite the initial interest to see what the new judges, Steven Tyler and J. Lo, brought to the table, the show hasn't really done anything to encourage folks to stick with it.

And how ARE the judges? Randy Jackson is as good as he always was. Now, the captain of the ship, he continues to be the only one you can count on to say anything worthwhile. Steven and Jennifer are pretty much the 2 halves of Paula Abdul. Nothing constructive. Rainbows and Sunshine. Everyone is a star. Ya know - useless.

(Ryan Seacrest and new "David Archuletta clone" - Stefano Langone)

Well the show is about the CONTESTANTS, right? Uhm ... wrong. It would be NICE if it were, but this year just has a boring crop of uninspired nobodies. Casey Abrams is like a hillbilly or something. Pia Toscano looks like she could be a Kardashian sister. Pretty, but is so uninteresting, you just want to cry. The only partially memorable newcomer is country kid, Scotty McCreery (who WILL be referred to as "Scotty McCREEPY" in no time, just you wait!), who's like a weird mix of The Miz and Taylor Hicks.

Without real buzzworthy and exciting contestants, what's the point? The show seems so far gone from the Adam Lamberts, Katherine McPhees, and, dare I say it? - The Diana Degarmos. Sure, these guys were all only runner-ups in the end, but you gave a damn about the journey they took, the competitors they outlasted, and finally the eventual champions that ousted THEM in the finals. I'm once again giving up on Idol. Here's to hoping that The X Factor brings it come Fall!