Monday, January 23, 2012

TV Quote of the Week - 1/22/12

EJ WON'T LET YOU DOWN - The OFFICIAL Non-Football related Entertainment Blog of the 
New York Giants

Back again with yet another double dose of TV Quote of the Week! ... I usually weed it down to just 1 quote, but this week was a good one for TV so you're getting 2. Deal with it.

The 1st comes to you from, once again, one of the very BEST comedies on TV, ABC's Happy Endings! I mean, this show has so many winners, its impossible to overlook them. This week was no exception, with Penny reveling in her success at "changing her boyfriend for the better", and Alex flatly offering the GREATEST, most note-perfect response to ANY egocentric tirade ever:

Penny: "I'm gonna start a blog ... Or a Twitter ... *gasp* And then it'll become a TV series starring Alyssa Milano!"

Alex: "Boy, I wish MY last name was a cookie."

Everyone on Happy Endings is awesome, but Elisha Cuthbert is truly one of it's secret weapons.

Happy Endings - Wednesday nights @ 9:30p on ABC.

And then the 2nd Quota-licious TV snippet comes to you from one of the most UNLIKELY of sources! MTV's Jersey Shore! Well, if it were Pauly D or Snooki or something, then it wouldn't be such a surprise, but nope! This winner comes straight from ... Sammi "Sweetheart"?! ... Is that Right?? ... Yep! Believe it! Sammi had some HIGH-LARIOUS shit to say about the Situation's latest jump-off, ranking as one of the best Compli-Disses I've heard in a very long time.

Sammi: "I actually really like Paula. She may be dirty and grimy and disgusting ... But she's just a nice girl!"

And that's why she's called "Sweetheart".

Watch Jersey Shore - Thursday nights @ 10pm on MTV.

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Sunday, January 15, 2012

TV Quote of the Week - 1/15/12

Back for another TV Quote of the Week!

This week's quotable is brought to you from the very BEST comedy (till maybe Cougar Town comes back) on ABC, Happy Endings. The definition of "a comedy" is a show that brings laughter by design, and when that show's ensemble cast can make you literally and genuinely LOL each ep? You've really got something there.

In the (likely) case that you're a clueless shell of a man (or woman) who needs it spelled out for them, the list order of best ABC comedies go like this:

#1 - Happy Endings
#2 - The Middle
#3 - ?
#4 - ?
#5 - Modern Family

Fact! For reasons like the following scene where the group discusses the complexities of sisterhood, divorce, and letting street performers use your bathroom:

Penny: "I always wanted a sibling. But the closest I ever got to a kid sister was a 'My Buddy doll'."
Max: "Why didn't you just get a 'Kid Sister doll'?"
Penny: "I did! But we weren't that close."

Happy Endings - Wednesday nights @ 9:30p on ABC.
You're Welcome.

And, as a special bonus, this 1 time only - an EXTRA quote of the week! What, what?! Yeah, don't say 'EJ never feeds ya'!

The bonus quote comes from a little show on Vh1 that I like to call (because that's it's name) Love & Hip-Hop, a monday night hour of awesomeness if you enjoy the 'lowest common denominator' that only Reality TV can deliver, as much as I do!

Every other week, SOMEONE is getting stomped, either figuratively or literally, and just so long as its not Olivia, I'm happy. These women are awesome ... and completely nuts. I thought POSSIBLY Teairra Mari was the stable one of the lot, but nope! She let her own insanity show this past week as she saw her producer talking business with someone that WASN'T her, and couldn't help but interject.

Teairra Mari: "Olivia? She's doing her fuckin job. And kudos to you, bitch. Whoop, whoop." *irrational laughter* "But ..." *more irrational laughter* "... at the same time, my ass has to think about MY ass."

Granted, I only started watching this season, but that sorta came outa nowhere as Teairra, up until that point, had been the calming voice of unbiased reason for everyone else. That being said, you gotta love the glossy 'I'm not the least bit understanding right now' look in her eyes, as she laughed through her growing hostility.

Watch Love & Hip HopMondays @ 8pm on Vh1.

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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Between 30 Rocks and a Hard Place ...

Thursday night marked the Season Premiere of arguably the funniest show on TV, NBC's 30 Rock.

It coulda earned TV Quote of the Week, but honestly, as prestigious as that award is, there was so much good stuff in this premiere episode, trimming it down to simply 1 quote just wouldn't have been doing the show it's true justice.

It was almost an episode out of Bizarro World, as everything was right, but nothing was the way it was supposed to be. Liz was happy and pleasant, to everyone's surprise and concern, not letting the usual work place stresses and shenanigans affect her. And Jenna was the same old Jenna, only "effective" and actually SUCCEEDING in her self-centered indulgence as star host of a hit new reality show called America's Kids Got Singing. (along with D'Fwan and John McEnroe)

"The only show I've ever been on that got a 10.2 was when Mickey Rourke threw me onto the field during the Super Bowl"

There was also an awesome side story with Kenneth quite happily believing the Rapture was imminent, saying his goodbyes to most of the people, which he believed were headed to various hells, (including "Black Hell" and "Women's Hell"), and fulfilling his own personal bucket-list, which only seemed to include MORE work around the office.

Oddly enough, Kenneth actually believed that post-Rapture, he'd see Tracy (of all people) in heaven ...

Tracy didn't know which end was up as his usual antics went completely disengaged by Liz Lemon, and Jack suffered a crisis of conscience, in perhaps the best scene of the night, where he debates canceling the wildly successful America's Kids Got Singing, through a frank, heart-to-heart discussion with newborn daughter Liddy.


So glad this show is back. Thursday IS, once again, the best night on television. And so as not to spoil too much, you should catch the full episode online to find out exactly WHAT was up with Liz. Its truly an epic start for the season!

Watch 30 Rock, Thursdays @ 8pm on NBC!

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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

May the SAUCE be with you?? ... Huh?!

First off - Happy New Year.
Second - Fuck you. I'm back, ok?

And now, an edible piece of awesome I heard about last week that I wanted to share - The Darth Vader Burger. Yep! It's a thing.

To help celebrate and promote the latest 'Lucas Money Grab', known as "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace rerelease this February, now in 3D", the fast food chain in France, known as "Quick", has come up with signature, movie themed burgers.

The ingredients are pretty standard - Beef patties, pepper sauce, cheddar cheese, etc. But its still yet to be revealed just HOW they create the black bun! ... And personally? I don't care. It looks fuckin AWESOME, and I'd do anything to get my hands on one! If you never had a reason to go to France before, now you do, and please bring one back for me. Thanks. But hurry. The burger is only available till March.

FYI - They also have 2 other burgers - The Jedi Burger, which looks like a standard run of the mill burger, but with mozzarella cheese cubes in it, and The Darth Maul Burger, which is a lot like The Darth Vader Burger, but with a reddish hued bun ... Lame! Stick with Vader.



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