Monday, February 28, 2011

I'll take a 1st Class ticket on THAT flight!

Did you hear the AMAZING News?? Christina Ricci may be returning to Primetime!!!

Well, it seems the Alphabet Net (ABC) has given the official pilot (no pun intended) order for a period piece series set in the 1960's, based on the iconic Pan American World Airways, better known as Pan Am, centering around the flight crew.

And, yes, Ricci is in talks for the lead role, in-which I will do everything within my power to ensure that she lands. There is NO competition that I will hesitate to throw under a bus (literally or figuratively ... whichever helps you sleep at night) if it will result in her being cast.

The last closest thing we had to Christina being a primetime staple was her brief recurring role on TNT's Saving Grace in 2009, which ... unfortunately, meant actually having to WATCH Saving Grace (uhg) And before that? There was her guest appearance on NBC's Joey, so ... uhm ... yeah.

*Crossing my fingers*

Sunday, February 27, 2011

83 and Rockin? ... or Worst Episode Ever?

The 83rd Annual Academy Awards is over and done with ... the unofficial "end" to Awards Season ... Sad, I know. So before we pack it in, how about a quick recap of the night's events, shall we?

So, ok. The very BEST way to do this is to NOT rundown all the awards that you saw given out already ... Hell, even if you missed them, you can find THOSE results on any other website. Instead? I'm going to give out some awards of my own!

The 1st award of Worst Host EVER goes to James Franco. God, was he doped up? Completely unprepared and nervous? Whatever it was, it was painful to watch. An otherwise likable actor, I hope he learned something from all this, cuz WE sure did.

Which brings us to our next winner. The We Try Harder Award, aka the Golden Lifesaver Award goes to Anne Hathaway. She wasn't stellar either, but you can see she came with her A game and put everything she had into carrying the whole damn thing, including Franco's load and making the hosting duties at least bearable this year.

Next, the Most Perfect Outfit Award (different than "Best Dressed") goes to Mila Kunis. I mean, just ... Dayum! Meg Griffin? Really? Timberlake had one of the best seats in the house.

The Best Presentation Duo Award goes to Russell Brand & Helen Mirren. Short. Funny. Non self-congratulatory. And the perfect chemistry between an ideal mismatch. Those Brits got it on lock!

Best Entrance of the Night? The award goes to Oprah Winfrey. To be honest I don't even remember what she was presenting, THAT's how impressive her walk to the stage was. When she came out it was like she owned the place. I mean, she's OPRAH, damnit! So snaps to her for unintentionally stealing that moment!

The Best Acceptance Speech Award goes to 2 people this time. Aaron Sorkin for winning Best Adapted Screenplay. He went long with his acceptance "thank yous", but didn't miss a BEAT when they brought on the "wrap it up" music. Kept his composure, was heartfelt, humble, eloquent, and he thanked EVERYONE. Also deserving of the Award was Luke Matheny for Best Live Action Short Film. Wild haired and crazy looking, he epitomizes the "I can't believe I'm here!" Undergrad Film major. He even thanked his mom. Not just for the usual "believing in him" (cliche') but for doing the actual kraft services for the film. Now THAT's genuine.

The ever controversial Fuck You Award went to Corey Haim. After not getting acknowledged during the "In Memoriam" segment of earlier this year's Screen Actors Guild Awards, (Haim died last year after an unintentional drug overdose) Haim's BFF Feldman made a little stink that "surprisingly enough" fell upon deaf ears. Some (like myself) wondered if that snub would be made up for at this year's Oscars ... and it wasn't. I watched intently as Celine Dion sang during the Oscar's Memoriam, and ... nothing. Oh well! Dion was great though. I love her!

The Most Perplexing aka the WTF? Award goes to Bob Hope ... or better yet, the people who orchestrated that whole Max Headroom-like scene, along with Billy Crystal. I see what they were trying to get at. It was kinda clever ... Honoring Oscar pioneers and legends as well as honoring Visual Effects ... It wasn't "BAD" per se, but the whole thing just left me scratching my head, like - "huh?"

And, not to be outdone, the 83rd Oscars Creepiest Moment Award goes to The PS 22 Children's Choir. I don't know what it was about these kids, but watching them take the stage and start crooning at the end of the show, for some reason just pushed it over the edge for me. Only 2 words came to mind: "Enough Already". And from there, I changed the channel.

Finally the Best Scene and Line Award for the entire Academy Awards presentation this year goes to Alec Baldwin. The opening skit where Franco and Hathaway entered his dream in order to find out secrets to hosting the Oscars was the funniest part of the night, and the high point was Baldwin telling them : "That's right. A dream inside two other dreams. You just got INCEPTIONED!"


My baloney has a first name ...

For those living under a rock, and thusly, had no clue, tonight (8:30pm; on ABC) is the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, otherwise known as The Oscars.

So, rather than get into any long drawn out analysis about the upcoming events ... the sketchiness of one of the hosts ALSO being a nominee for Best Actor ... or the fact that I'd give ANYTHING to be there live in person right now ... I'll do the next best thing - I'll travel 12 hours into the future and post all the winners for you in the categories that matter.

* Notice how late I'm doing this, so either A) I was being super lazy, B) I didn't want you (and you know who you are) to jack my picks and win your office Oscar pool, or C) Stuff kept coming up ... mostly sandwich related.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams (The Fighter)
Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

Winner: Helena Bonham Carter

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale (The Fighter)
John Hawkes (Winter's Bone)
Jeremy Renner  (The Town)
Mark Ruffalo (The Kids are All Right)
Geoffry Rush (The King's Speech)

Winner: Christian Bale

Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Benning (The Kids are All Right)
Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)
Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

Winner: Natalie Portman

Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem (Biutiful)
Jeff Bridges (True Grit)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
James Franco (127 Hours)

Winner: James Franco

Best Directing
Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)
David O. Russell (The Fighter)
Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)
David Fincher (The Social Network)
Joel & Ethan Coen (True Grit)

Winner: Darren Aronofsky

Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
The Kids are All Right
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

Winner: The Social Network

There you go folks! Super 100% guaranteed correct Oscar results! Also, keep watch for the point where Jeff Bridges goes feral and starts attacking the other Best Actor nominees ... Jesse Eisenberg, you will be missed. Oh, and set your DVR's till about 2:30am ... this bitch is going LONG!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Script encountered some Bad Cookies ...

An idea straight out of 'Chelley's cook book, Subway was featuring a brand new cookie the other day. The Raspberry Cheesecake Cookie ... yummers! ... Sounds magical and delicious, right?

Wrong! It was terrible. Even for a Subway cookie. Everything you imagine it COULD taste like, it did not. Once again, Subway, when it comes to lunching, you have Failed. The $5 Footlong for every sub was a nice promotion, but if everything you've got (even the desserts) just universally sucks, what's the point?

And only a mere 40 city blocks south is a Blimpe! Next time, DEFINITELY worth the walk!

iPhone-ing it in ...

Ok. It's been 2 weeks since the iPhone 4 has been released on the Verizon network and since I got it the day it came out, I figured this would be a good opportunity for a quick review on it thus far ...

I love it. The ease and simplicity of EVERYTHING you do with a mobile device. From Facebook, to Twitter, to web browsing, to E-mail, to pictures, to games, to checking Subway schedules, to everything else ... I thought my old LG ENV3 phone could do these things ... By the iPhone 4 standard? - It could not. The iPhone 4 does everything I ask and need of it with no hassle. The potential "issues" of being on Verizon's CDMA based 3G network, essentially that you can't make a call & web browse/etc. at the same time, have been non-existent.

The only minor hurdle has been downloading large apps. For the very large ones, you can't download them off the cellular network (3G). You either have to plug into iTunes on your computer or switch to WiFi. The issue with iTunes is that the new iPhone will only talk to the latest version of iTunes. And the latest version of iTunes will only talk to the newer Mac OSX (for those of us Mac users). What does that mean? Well, if you are like me and still using something like Tiger or possibly even Leopard, then you are gonna have to shell out another $150 or so to upgrade your Mac processor in order to use the newest iTunes, just to synch the iPhone, just to download a big app. A pain, right? Well, like I said - it's only a minor hurdle. You still have the WiFi option. Synch your iPhone to any WiFi you can latch on that isn't shared by too many other iPhones in the area, and not only can u download the largest apps, but you are now also NOT being charged for the data usage. Minor hurdle - averted.

Moving on, the other day, my good friend Joey asked me to take a peek at the new Droid Bionic phone by Motorola, soon to be released on the 4G (LTE) network, and to weigh in on it.  So "take a peek", I did!

Droid Bionic

Unfortunately, it was hard to do so without ALSO looking at the new HTC Thunderbolt.

First off, they both claimed to be the FIRST smart phone to be released on Verizon's 4G. Well the Bionic's speculated release is Mid/Late April. The Thunderbolt was yesterday. So ... yeah. Thunderbolt easily wins THAT argument.

Bionic has a huge screen, HDMI output, all the bells and whistles you could ask for in a smart phone. It's got an 8 megapixel camera, superior to iPhone's current 5 megapixels :(, and being on the 4G network, its basis is that it is going to be lightning quick. So is that a good enough reason to get it? I couldn't play with it myself, but check out this demo:

Then we have Thunderbolt. It's got the 8 megapixel camera like the Droid. (apparently the NEW standard in phone cameras ... fine) It does the super fast 4G thing as well. Has the huge screen, a lot of customizables, yadda, yadda, yadda ... And even some cool little tidbits like the flashlight and stuff like that. Hey, you never know, right?


So what's the verdict? I like the Thunderbolt better than the Bionic. It's hard to tell exactly, unless you hold them both up next to each other, but it appears that the Thunderbolt is a little thinner. Smart phones are continually growing in size and the less ease that you can just throw them in your pocket, the less attractive a phone option it is. Also, the Thunderbolt appeared to be a bit more fluid and responsive to user touch, which is probably the #1 feature of ANY smart phone ... and also the reason (as biased as it may sound), the iPhone 4 is still better than the both of them.

iPhone is smaller, thus fits anywhere you need it to fit. It's touch capacity is hands down the BEST in the business. I compared the touch scrolling against S & S's phones the other day and to say theirs were PAINFUL by comparison would be an understatement. Even Noodles, who uses an Evo or something couldn't help but admire the ease and responsiveness of the iPhone 4 vs. his phone. We even timed who could load Angry Birds faster, and iPhone won.

I'm guessing Bionic and Thunderbolt may be faster in their data downloads, surfing the net, etc. But we're talking only a couple seconds. And everything else, with actual phone usability? They still won't touch the iPhone.  Who cares how many people sweat and celebrate the iPhone? It's not bandwagon hopping. They rave about it because it's that damn good. Avoiding it is like saying "I'm not going to eat at that restaurant because everyone says how delicious it is." Insane, right? Seriously. Being hard-headed won't get you anywhere in life. Just go to the Verizon store and play with it. You'll see what I mean.

a quick Luke at Modern Family ...

The highest rated new sitcom last year and ABC breakout hit comedy, Modern Family (Wednesdays; 9pm) delivered yet another pretty strong episode this past week. It's NOT the funniest show on TV, despite what ABC, it's Emmy wins, and people who just parrot anything printed in Entertainment Weekly will tell you. It's not even the Alphabet Net's (yes, that's its nickname) best show on Wednesday nights.

But Modern Family IS consistently solid overall, and that is 100% thanks to the show's 2 strongest weapons: Cameron Tucker, played by Eric Stonestreet, and perhaps the funniest kid on television today, Luke Dunphy (sorry, Manny), played by Nolan Gould. While the center family, The Dunphys, are usually redundant and grating, Luke saves it for them every week. They don't often give him a lot to say, but when they do, he NAILS it.

Ed O'Neill's Jay Pritchett and his family can be hit or miss, but at least Sofia Vergara is nice to look at.

And then, of course, Cam, who's the partner of Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), is as note perfect as Luke, and is the driving force of the 3rd, but funniest family in the series.

This past Wednesday, Feb. 23rd, they decided to team-up both Luke AND Cam, in helping organize a musical fundraiser party ... which was the best thing they've done all season:

It's worth tuning in every week, just for the 2 of them.
FYI - Luke's recurring self-motivating catch phrase: "C'mon, Luke!" = Priceless.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Good ol' Marc made an interesting post on this new website called Facebook the other day, entitled "Things people like that I just don't get" (or something to that effect) which reminded me of something I sampled ... or RE-sampled the other day - CSI: Miami (Sundays; 10pm, on the Eyeball)

Once upon a time, this was one of the top rated primetime dramas on television, and is still today a solid rock performer for CBS. Many people, even those well outside it's "target demographic" would swear by this show. I've never been a huge fan of the procedural, but whatevz. I'm open-minded. ... That and a lack of cable access allowed me to give CSI: Miami a fair look last Sunday. And you know what I found? It sucks. It's just a laughably corny show.

Now in all fairness, I'm not biased against the program type. Hawaii Five-0, a relatively similar show on CBS that I've discovered this season, I actually love. So what's wrong with CSI: Miami? The acting. The execution. You'd think a show that practically has the word "Forensics" in the title would be a little "smarter". Nope! As both The Simpsons AND Family Guy have described CSI: Miami before - "all flash and no substance" ... Crazy out of sequence music, wild camera angles and plays on light when they are doing "science" and "investigating" ... Is that supposed to make it seem cool or exciting? Who are they kidding? ... and David  Caruso is a joke.

But don't fret. I've got good news. Your soul-mate EJ has found a REPLACEMENT criminal investigative show for you - National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle

Trust me. This one they got right. It's everything you think you want in TV show, with none of what you forgot you hated. Check out the commercial spot for the coming season finale.

Set your DVRs now ....

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

God I WISH this were a movie ...

If you know EJ at all, you know that EJ LOVES him some Zombie movies!!! So this trailer hit last week for a new horror video game coming out called  Dead Island, and people have been RAVING about it ... So in the case you haven't seen it yet, or you just want another place to watch it over and over again ... here ya go!


Props to Brian G. for FW'ing this!

First there was Watson ...

Well, first there were a LOT of things! But MOST RECENTLY there was Watson ... ya know - the IBM computer that annihilated it's human competition on Jeopardy last week? ... That was fun, wasn't it?

Well because we won't be satisfied till we "prove" that machines can beat us at ALL of our leisure and pass time activities, they've constructed this new golfing robot, which I think (and don't quote me on this, after all I'm just a human, and not a computer) is called "INBIRDIE".

Admittedly, the video on this thing ain't long or stellar and it's in Korean, so unless you've got that language under your belt, you probably aren't enjoying this as much as you should ... But trust me. It's pretty impressive. InBirdie is about 4 feet tall and with it's optical sensors it measures distance, incline, and angle and all that good stuff and makes golf puts based on its calculations. It competes effectively with humans in virtual golf, sinking 85% of its puts. Developers are in the works to make a larger InBirdie that can play and compete on a full size golfing range.


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Through the Looking Glass ...

Ever hear of a guy named Todd Glass?

Couldn't tell you if it's his real name or not (I could Wikipedia this, but I don't feel like it), but many of his comedic shorts may be inspired by that very name. In many a segment Todd's aim seems to be to teach valuable societal lessons ... heavy handed and unapologetic ...

Check out Todd bringing the classroom home to 2 teenage girls ... (yes, you're gonna like it)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Eaten for breakfast. Period.

If you've never seen a grown man, and a Lawyer at that, completely and utterly verbally dissected and just straight up Owned (do the kids still say this? No? Ok.) and I do mean OWNED by a Judge, then please strap yourself in and watch this ...

Wow. He MUST have shat his pants and cried himself to sleep that night ...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Simpsons really delivered on Sunday night!

Although most people were probably watching the Grammys on Sunday evening, The Simpsons; 8 pm on FOX, had a potentially Award Winning night themselves!

Most die-hard Simpsons fans (those of us that are still tuning in) will agree that FOX's "First Family" ain't what it used to be. Not in the ratings and definitely not in the quality. Many are just watching out of habit at this point, left with only the hope of their loyalty being rewarded with at least ONE genuine laugh every few episodes or so.

Sunday's Valentine's Day episode, however, totally knocked it out of the park. Homer becoming a "professional Wing Man" to help out Moe and several other of Springfield's loveless losers had some great moments (In one scene Homer "Talk Blocks" Lenny so Moe could swoop in to steal his girl) ... but the true genius were in the minor shots, like the above, where Lenny and Carl honor their Valentine's Day tradition of dating each other's sister ... Laughing my Fuckin ASS off, with NO abbreviation! And this ep was chock full of gems like these! (also check for Ralph Wiggum's comment to Marge)

Very refreshing. For a show that I pretty much grew up with, even knowing that it's BEST years are behind it, I'll always be rooting for The Simpsons to shine. And its episodes like this one that make it worth it to keep coming back week after week.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Rise of the Machines (aka: Thanks, Alex Trebek)

Well, if you haven't heard, EJ's here to tell you. It's over. It's all over.

Ok, let me back up a little bit and explain. Today was Round 1 of a very special Jeopardy exhibition match where 2 of the winningest champions in Jeopardy history - Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter took on IBM's super computer - the cognitively nimble droid named Watson. A thinking computer.

They may as well have just named it Skynet, cuz we all know how this story ends. Destruction of the human race. But first? Demolition of Watson's game show competition.

It was actually a very fun competition to watch. Watson had the home field advantage as the competition took place in the IMB facilities of Yorktown, NY (pictured left), and jumped out to a commanding lead early on. It really looked like it wasn't even going to be a contest till Brad and Ken (the John Henry and Paul Bunyan of the competition) totally kicked it up a notch and started to show what the we humans can do! (and by "we", I mean "them", cuz I knew not ONE answer)

On top of Ken and Brad getting competitive out of nowhere, not only were they beating Watson to the buzzer, but Watson was getting a little flustered and actually answered some questions incorrectly. At one point Brad even took the lead, and I was starting to worry that Watson would make a liar out of me after telling everyone that would listen today that Watson was gonna CREAM the human beings.

Another remarkable and interesting thing to watch was Alex Trebek in this match. The show started out explaining Watson's makeup and how how he operates, all the while Trebek notably referring to Watson as an "it", refusing to confer any type of assumed humanity on this machine that you can't help but root for. But as the show went on, Mr. Trebek (traitor to the human race) started calling Watson by "he". I guess when Trebek saw how dominating Watson was, he didn't want to take the chance of pissing "it" off.

By the end of show and Round 1, Watson was tied with Brad for about $5,000, while Ken was still in it with around $2000. Double Jeopardy is tomorrow, and I highly recommend checking it out! ... Although, like I've been saying - we don't need a crystal ball to predict the obvious ... We already know how this story ends.

ps - As this show was pre-taped, this is an actual PHOTO taken by a Wall Street Journal photographer of the studio audience following Final Jeopardy.

Falling for it Again? .. Yep. Probably!

Have you seen the promo for the new Alien Invasion/ World-pocalypse action film Battle: Los Angeles? ...

No? .... Uhm ... Yes, you have. Cuz they already released the same exact movie back in November, but they called it Skyline. Remember?

Pretty much the same thing, right? Hell, they both even take place in Los Angeles ... Skyline might even very well be the prequel to Battle: Los Angeles, but I don't blame them for not mentioning that since Skyline was such a stinker.

Tired and played out genre? Maybe. Too much of the same too soon? Probably. Will I go see it anyway? Most likely. I love the big action epic, and Battle: LA doesn't SEEM to have Eric Balfour in the cast, so it's ALREADY a drastic improvement over Skyline.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Is GLEE the most Obnoxious show on Television? ...

Don't overthink it. I'll just answer FOR you. Yes.
Its rare to see a show fall so in love with itself this quickly.

Several friends and co-conspirators have mentioned to me that FOX is in desperate need of some new shows or some semblance of a spark of new life ... I beg to differ. Although only a shadow of what it once was ratings-wise and quality-wise, The Simpsons is still the captain of Sunday's solid Animation Domination block, with Family Guy & The Cleveland Show actually over-delivering it. (last i checked)  House remains firm, as do Bones and the freshman comedy Raising Hope. Obviously there's the ratings behemoth American Idol does what it does best, and then FOX has its mega-hit Glee. The net is fine.

Ok. So what's the problem?
For starters - the 66 minute Superbowl stunt ... and the fact that like every other weekend is now a "Gleekend" or "Get Gleeked" Marathon that somehow bleeds onto other channels. It refuses to NOT be in your face and it just isn't as good a show as it THINKS it is.

Is that enough to then be "obnoxious"? No. But it gets worse. Every episode is a stunt. "Oh! we're doing songs and dressing up like Britney Spears this week! ... the episode you MUST watch!" Well, which ISN'T an episode where they aren't trying to jack the copyrights to a song that we've appreciated over the years?! Do you see what I mean? It's almost like they refuse (or are unable) to pave their own way. Riding the coattails of music someone else established and saying "watch our show because of it." I mean a special "Michael Jackson Thriller episode" to follow the Superbowl!? Really?? ... They've got some balls, that's for sure ...

But the very WORST part, and that which earns them the title of "Most Obnoxious Show on Television"? They carry themselves like they are doing everyone ELSE a favor with their existence. When the rock group Kings of Leon refused to give Glee the rights to their song, Ryan Murphy, the show's co-creator, in The Hollywood Reporter called the Kings "self-centered assholes". Now Justin Timberlake continues to be a holdout from working with Glee even after show's producers make the claim that "... every artist that has their songs performed on Glee has found themselves back on the charts." ... Fuckin REALLY now? Is that right?! Well god bless Glee then, huh? The World owes you Everything. They were quoted as taking JT's constant refusal as "a slap in the face" ...

Wow. The balls on this show ....

Wwow, Jenni ... really?

It wasn't until doing this blog post that I realized just how stupid a name "Jwoww" is ... I mean it breaks pretty much every single rule in the English language ... which, I suppose brings us to the topic on hand ...

What is there to do on a blustery 20 degree Wednesday evening, February in New York? Well It just so happened that the Borders bookstore in Columbus Circle was hosting a signing for Ms. Jenni Farley, aka (uhg) "Jwoww" that night, for her new book, so we figure - 'Ok. We have GOT to see how this goes down ..." (no pun intended)

Now, I'm a pretty big fan of MTV's Jersey Shore, so even though Jwoww is far from my favorite on the show, I have nothing against their fame for ... 'whatever' ... This is life and how TV is, right? So my 'hateration' on them is pretty limited.

That being said, I'm not 100% certain that Jenni can even read ... much less WRITE a book. So the premise alone was entertaining. As was the massive crowd of people lined up to see her. Boys and girls of all ages, ethnicities, and social groups. Cameras and cell phones were ablaze and young folks (girls, mostly) yelling out asinine "supportive" comments like "We LOVE you!!" ... For WHAT? 'Peeing of the floor behind the bar because you were too drunk to go find the bathroom"? (this literally occurred in the episode 3 or 4 weeks ago). You can also hear the side conversations on how much they hate Sammi and how ugly they think she is. (yes, this is the part where you roll your eyes)

There was a table and desk there, so I actually thought for a moment that Jwoww might talk or answer some questions ... But then i quickly came to my senses and realized that that's not her 'thing', as that would require actually having something to SAY...

So ... yeah. We didn't stay too long, but for what we saw it seemed like a good time. Fans got to see their hero. Cynics got to shake their heads at the youth of today. It was Win - Win.

Couldn't get a close up picture of her ... unless I'd bought a book and waited in line ... so ... yeah, I couldn't get a close up picture of her.

 buy it Now!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Poor Mama Panda! hahahahahaha

God Bless you Pandas, for making me laugh today! hahahaha
Did you know that Pandas aren't even really BEARS? It's totally true!!
Would I lie to YOU?!? ... Seriously - Look it up! ... but watch this awesome video first.

This is what life is all about Folks!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Green & Yellow: The Super Commercial Recap

In case you were in coma Sunday night, just woke up, and EWLYD is your 1st stop for world info-tainment (god bless you, if this is the case), The Green Bay Packers defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25 to win Super Bowl XLV(that's 45 for the dumb dumb club)

I'm proud to admit that I was cheering for them all the way through!!! ... Not that they are my TEAM or anything, but my biggest pleasure from all this was the silencing of the Steelers fans with that god awful bullshit excuse for a song "Black & Yellow", from that joke of an artist Wiz Khalifah.

It was actually a terrific game. The Black Eyed Peas did their thing at a pretty good half time show. Guest appearances by Usher and Slash were really cool ... especially Slash, who played GNR classic "Sweet Child of Mine", although Fergie doing the vocals was horrific.

And of course, as anticipated as the big game itself, we had the Super Bowl commercials. Some were ... creepy ... I'm looking at YOU Doritos, with the guy sucking one dude's fingers and smelling the other guy's pants, while others were just unoriginal rehashes of past commercials, like Snickers whacking  Roseanne Barr in the head this year, as opposed to Betty White last year. *yawn* I'll watch Captain America, Transformers 3, Cowboys & Aliens, and Fast & Furious 5, and honorable mention goes to the Kia car that gets snatched up by Poseidon before being abducted by aliens ... but HERE were the top 3 commercials of the night:

#3 - Pepsi Max Zero - "Love Hurts"

#2 - NFL Promo - Best Fans Ever Montage of Classic Television Shows

and the #1 commercial of the night (easily) - Volkswagen: Use the Force

Hope you enjoyed the game!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

It's Never too early to Mix the Martial Arts ...

Check out this picture of these babies who can't walk or talk, but can apply a cross armbreaker with the best of them!

... the one in the white should really tap at this point .... and the man in the blue shirt - Referee or 'Father of the Year'? - You decide!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

McDisgusto Burger ...

THIS is what you get when you go for that late night fast food in NYC .... especially when that fast food place is McDonalds ...

Yes. This was the condition it was in BEFORE I bit into it ... Looks like someone or someTHING got to my hamburger before I did ... Fuckin disgusting. The culprit? - The McDonalds on 42nd Street, between Madison & 5th ... Uhg. They've SO made the list!

Rule #1 of fast food dining - ALWAYS inspect your meal before you put it in your mouth.

Rule #2 of fast food dining - Never buy McDonalds after 12am where the Overnight shift cares even LESS about you than the Evening shift, but has no manager on duty to make sure they don't fuck with your food. If you do? Please consult Rule #1 again.

Thinking Outside the BOXing

And JUST because I'm in the mood for talking Boxing right now, for your reading satisfaction - Behold!

The Top 10 Greatest Boxing Things EVER!
(in no particular order  in order!)


Socker Boppers - There's a thought! Give kids inflatable plastic mitts and encourage them to wail on each other till they are sore and tired and quiet. Now THAT'S what I call "parenting"! I love everything about this! Think you can withstand this kid's overhand right? (whatever you answered, you're wrong)


The Fighter - The movie I JUST reviewed for you! Are there BETTER boxing movies than this? No. I mean "Yes". I mean ... read my review. Definitely the best boxing movie Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg starred in in 2010! That's a promise!


Balrog - The 1st underboss and one of the whackest combatants in Street Fighter 2. He's kinda a pushover, and the only fighter in the game that can't kick, but he IS the iconic "boxer" character in the greatest one on one fighter franchise in video game history. Little known fact - originally he was named "M. Bison", but he too closely resembled "Mike Tyson", so his name was swapped with the red cap wearing boss of SF2 in the American release.


Carl "The Tooth" Williams - The parody of Carl "The Truth", portrayed HILARIOUSLY by Jamie Foxx on the hit sketch comedy series In Living Color. Next to "Wanda", maybe his best character ever. If you've never seen it? - Youtube is your friend. Make time to visit.


Rocky IV - Rocky single-handedly defeats Communism and wins the Cold War for the United States. "There's No Easy Way Out", the death of Apollo Creed, and arguably the greatest fight training musical montage you've ever seen when training in the mountains of the Soviet Union ... but still not the BEST Rocky film ... yeah, I said it!

Twilight Zone ep. "Steel" - In a future where the sport of boxing is only done by robots, a human boxer disguises himself as a battling robot in order to compete in the ring to win the prize money. It's man vs. machine where the outcome is hardly ever in question, but a true showcase of human spirit and determination.


Laila Ali vs. Christy Martin - August 23rd, 2003 - Muhammad Ali's daughter gives "the Coal Miner's daughter" an ass whooping of a lifetime. Martin was legendary, although most would say WAY past her prime when she got in the ring with Ali who outclassed her in EVERY way. It lasted 4 rounds, but it wasn't a match. It was an execution.


Homer Simpson vs. Drederick Tatum - "Homer's not a 'boxer', he's just a ... 'Freak!'" - the words of Homer's fight manager Moe when approached with the chance for Homer to take on the heavyweight champ. The huge purse - win or lose - is enough to change Moe's mind to put Homer in the ring which will most likely be his tomb. Brilliant.

Rocky III - 2 words: "Clubber Lang". 4 words: "Eye of the Tiger". 6 MORE words: "Hulk Hogan's acting debut as Thunderlips". All that plus the time tested awesomeness of "former enemies working together (Rocky & Apollo) to take down the new evil". Many people argue 3's superiority over 4, but this movie changed 'running on the beach' now and forever, and had one of the greatest closing sequences in cinematic history.

Mike Tyson's Punch Out - If you played the Nintendo Entertainment System in the 80's then you understand. Best boxing video game ever. Glass Joe. Piston Honda. Soda Popinski. Nuff said.  

don't Lowell your expectations for The Fighter ...

Me and 1L watched The Fighter last night, starring Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale (i'm really loading up on all the Oscar flicks this year, huh?) and I'm pleased to report that it was excellent.

Sure, you've seen one boxing movie, you've seen them all, right? ... Even the "true story" movies, right?? ... Well, yeah. But you go to see The Fighter for the amazing performances by the truly Oscar worthy Bale and the refreshingly dialed back Wahlberg. It's super fun watching something that looks almost like a period piece but that takes place in 1993, and the matches themselves are more realistic than you'll find in most boxing flicks, yet no less exciting. The overall story is told in a bit of a different way with a whole lot more humor than you'd expect with no shortage of rich and engaging characters.

There's no real "villain" in this movie, which is another breath of fresh air. Just a telling of many people's struggles to overcome their own personal ... ... Ya know what? Just watch the damn movie because I told you to, alright? It's awesome. My verdict? - I Loved it. Some little tid bits of fun to watch for? "throwback" HBO, cameos by Sugar Ray Leonard, Roy Jones Jr., and other legendary greats, and best unexpected gem of the movie - the 7 Sisters. See the movie. You'll see what I mean.

Friday, February 4, 2011

playing 'Musical Stairs' ...

For those that have to travel through 34th St. Penn Station at rush hour? I pity you. Hell, ANYTIME during daylight hours, it's just a nightmare. The congestion is ridiculous and god forbid you actually have somewhere to BE!? You are NOT getting around those idiots that park themselves on escalator deciding - "Oh, well since the stairs are doing the moving for me, I can now just concentrate on checking my facebook, eating this bag of donuts, and dreading the rest of my day."

So wouldn't the stairs (although super congested as well) just be quicker!? .... as my soul-mate Annette would say - "YEAAAAHH RIIIIIGHT!" Who wants to operate under their own power in this day and age?

Well, like giving a cracker to a Parakeet, all people need is a little incentive. Try making it fun ...

Neat, huh? (Thanks Stace!) I wish every step I took EVERYWHERE played music! ESPECIALLY in a crowded subway station!

Where there's smoke - there's fire ... and lightning ... and a volcano ...

BOOM!!! Awesome!!!

A wicked awesome photo of the Shinmoedake Volcano erupting last Sunday (Jan 30th) in the Kagoshima prefecture in Kyushu, Japan. Volcanos are INCREDIBLE when you just think about what they are and what they can do. Hopefully nobody was hurt, but still ... Wow.

You can READ A LITTLE MORE about it and see other cool pics of other random things ... or u can just keep staring at THIS pic and make up the rest of the story in your head! (that's what I would do!)