What's What w/ The Fall 2013 TV Season

The last couple weeks the broadcast nets ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CW (are they still a network??) have trotted out their ... mildly anticipated programs of the new Fall Season. Has there been anything worth talking about, caring about, and basically just tuning back in week after week? Well if you haven't had opportunity to look at anything yet yourself, here's a quick guide to what I've sampled thus far!

Here's the Ranking System:

Loved It: One of the best of new season. Definitely gotta check it out!

Liked It: Between "watchable" and "enjoyable", if you've got the room in your DVR queue without any conflicts, then totes go for it.

Leave It: Can see what they were aiming at, but not worth the effort.

Loathed It: Bullshit at its finest ... Or its worst. Same difference.

ABC

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Tuesdays @ 8pm)
The Special Ops Government Tac Team featured in the blockbuster Avengers movie, Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America. Its the one show people were supposed to like this season but something is just ... off. The special ops crew at the core is just too "young & hip", too corny, and way too cliche. With the Marvel library, they have so much material to play with, but aren't making the most of any of it. Its a water-color interpretation of show that needed fine painting to get right. Good idea - Poor execution. Eh ... Leave it.

The Goldbergs (Tuesdays @ 9pm)

Its an 80's version of the Wonder Years ... but with NONE of the humor, wit, warmth, or general nostalgia ... However, the characters are all loud, unrelatable and unbelievably obnoxious and grating .... So, if ur into that? ... Loathed it.



Trophy Wife (Tuesdays @ 930pm)
Party girl finds herself suddenly married and trying to raise step-kids from the new husband's first 2 failed marriages - Trophy Wife was a lot better than I thought it was going to be, and better than a show with this premise SHOULD be. Hilarious? - No. But charmingly simplistic with what its doing and the characters make it work. Liked it.

Lucky 7 (Tuesdays @10pm) Cancelled
Set in NYC, a group of 7 friends, co-wokers, and associates, all desperate in their own way, win a multi-million dollar lottery jackpot. Then things start to get interesting. No words to describe how engrossing this show became with its awesome and multi-layered characters and budding storylines ... But it was the 1st of the new season to get the axe. ABC has cancelled it. Loved it.

Back in the Game (Wednesdays @ 830pm)
Its the Bad New Bears helmed by a struggling, single mom trying to do right by her son and mend her dysfunctional relationship with her dad ... with James Caan as her dad. Awesome. The show takes some risks with its humor that I appreciate, and is genuinely funny. A lot of it rides on the backs of the kids in the show, but they're great with theirs, and the adults are all dopey, in a good way. Liked it.

Super Fun Night (Wednesdays @ 930pm)
3 single underdog girlfriends in NYC ... starring Rebel Wilson. We've seen it all before. I heard about a "sing-off" and Ugly Betty references, and I admittedly expected to HATE this show ...  But I couldn't have been more wrong. It is extremely and legitimately funny. The characters are excellently brought to life with sharp and clever writing. Yeah, this one's a good one. Loved it.

NBC

The Blacklist (Mondays @ 10pm)
Super criminal Raymond Reddignton, played by James Spader leads the FBI around by their noses too smug villain" which here is a cross between Hannibal Lecter and Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock. Everything is rather predictable and the FBI is dumbifyed (not a real word) to make Reddington that much more superior. You'll roll your eyes ... more than a few times ... but its fast enough to not be bored with it. This one could have gone either way, but ... Liked it.
on the trail of bad guys they didn't even know exist. Eh ... Spader seems to enjoy being the "

Welcome to the Family (Thursdays @ 830pm)
Blended family hijinks. Teen decides to marry his highschool sweetheart after graduation in lieu of going to Stamford after she gets knocked up. The kids are like puppies - kinda hard to hate them even when they act stupid. But its the families of the two (that incidentally don't get along and aren't a fan on the union) which makes the show watchable. Hard working middle class Latino family vs upper-class Caucasian family. Both are likable and find a way to remain somewhat generic, yet without playing to the usual cliches that you might expect. Harmless, but you would't be missing anything. Leave it.

Sean Saves the World (Thursdays @ 9pm)
Single gay dad (Sean Hayes from Will & Grace) trying to raise his teenage daughter ... Definitely the kind of show idea manufactured in a boardroom, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. Formulaic? You bet. Everywhere from the smart-ass teen to the sassy trash-talking grandma. But it's the humorous workplace stuff with Sean's unfeeling new boss and his quirky co-workers that the real laughs come out. Liked it.

The Michael J. Fox Show (Thursdays @ 930pm)

Michael J. Fox is back playing an ex-NBC news anchor with Parkinson's Disease who after not finding the "typical relaxed retired family life" he envisioned, decides to go back to work and explore a new chapter in his career. I didn't know what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised with this show. Fox is vulnerable and honest with his character and addressing a lot of the real life challenges he faces living with Parkinson's and acting again. The show is definitely about that, but its not ALL its about. His family is awesome and each one enjoyable in their own right. And the show doesn't dwell on the Parkinson's too much, nor does it ask you to feel sorry for anyone. It's New York authentic (you should know what that means already) and NBC flexes the star power muscle at its disposal with guest stars showing up at every turn, humorously spoofing themselves. Emphasis on "humorous" - As at the end of the day, the show is just straight up funny. Loved it.

CBS

We Are Men (Mondays @ 830pm)
Ensemble buddy comedy of 4 single men, tackling dating and various misadventures of ... uhg. Let me just stop there. It's CBS tossing 2 & Half Men and the Hangover in a blender, sprinkling it with Tony Shaloub and Jerry O'Connell and seeing what happens. It mindless, but NOT in a good way. Kal Penn is the only saving grace, but its not enough to waste time with each week. Leave it.

Hostages (Mondays @ 10pm)
Toni Collette is a surgeon tasked with operating on the President of the United States before a group of shadowy individuals with sinister intent take her family hostage and order her to make sure the president doesn't survive the procedure. It started out well, but this is one of those crazy premise shows like Prison Break that only works if you suspend belief to a certain degree. Unfortunately, unlike Prison Break, Hostages takes itself WAY too seriously. Plus, a few episodes in and its hard to even partially LIKE any of the characters, much less appreciate the "predicament" they are in. "What will happen next?" Who cares? Leave it.

The Millers (Thursdays @ 830pm)
Will Arnet has a great track record. Arrested Development he was at his finest. Up All Night was a different, more restrained kind of comedy for him, but he nailed that too. He still has a great cast with him in The Millers, but the writing is possibly the worst of any show this Fall season. If there is one show to avoid at all costs, its this one. Loathed it.

The Crazy Ones (Thursdays @ 9pm)
Robin Williams as an ad man, with Sarah Michelle Gellar as his daughter/ business partner. Uhm .. if you can tolerate Robin Williams doing 85 different versions of the same 3 voices impersonations he does every time he opens his mouth for 30 minutes each week, then maybe you'll like this show ... If you are even PONDERING right now if you could put up with it, I can save you some time and tell you right now that you cannot. SMG in a comedy turn? Well, she's the reluctant straight woman, so ... yeah. Bleh. Leave it.

FOX

Sleepy Hollow (Mondays @ 9pm)

The story of Ichabod Crane vs the Headless Horseman in modern day. He's a man displaced through time and with his cop partner is battling witches and demons and the like. We've seen the "supernatural procedural" before and seen it done a lot better, but Sleepy Hollow is relatively light and easy to digest. The leads are fresh and likable, and the story is well-timed fun for the Halloween Fall season. Liked it.

Dads (Tuesdays @ 8pm)
A friend of mine had the perfect quote which he borrowed from Stewie in Family Guy - "Seth Green is in too many things of too low quality", which is perfectly applicable for this new Fox comedy ... Generic crap. Giovanni Ribisi is talent wasted and Brenda Song deserves better this. Terrible all around. You won't crack so much as a smile. Loathed it.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Tuesdays @ 830pm)
Andy Samberg as cool, rebellious, fun-loving, but effective detective ... in Brooklyn. Not funny. Every bit of the ensemble cast is exactly what you expect them to be and they say exactly what you expect them to say. Terry Crewes is the only bright spot on an otherwise abysmal show. The actual "police work" is a just set-piece designed to give the completely unoriginal characters something to do between the consistently flat and uninspired jokes. I think "torture" would just about sum it up. Loathed it.

 CW

The Originals (Thursdays @ 9pm)
The Vampire Diaries spin-off about the first family of vampires, The Michaelsons, relocated New Orleans to battle new mystical evil-doers. Uhm ... I guess it works. Vampire Diaries ain't what it used to be but is still watchable, so The Originals falls into the same category. If you are still into vampires and the drama of their love lives, etc, then you might find some enjoyability here. Claire Holt as Rebekah is the icing on the cake. ... If there was cake ... Liked it.

And that's it for the Broadcast Nets! CW is only just getting into their new show premieres, so I'll keep watching and give ya'll the updates on what's what!

2 cents. Spend it wisely.

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I spy with my little I-Phone ...

Last week Apple officially presented TWO (that's more than 1) successors to the iPhone 5 - the "iPhone 5c" and the "iPhone 5s". Awesome, right? But then the question - Are they worth a damn? Or is this just the next installment of the "annual Apple money-grab"?

(official iPhone 5c promo - the cutie in blue is Reni Mimura, Japanese pop singer, actress, and featured performer at Maid Cafe'-NY 

- 150 Centre St. New York, NY)

First - the 5c -Some say the "C" stands for "Color", others say "Cheap". Neither are wrong as the 5c comes in 4 new vivd colors - blue, yellow, pink, and green. And the candy-coated looking device is less expensive with the 16G version being only $99 with a 2 year contract. The reinforced durable plastic body is really the only major change, though, from the iPhone 5. Small tweaks include a slightly improved camera and expanded LTE service. Touted to now have the largest of any phone, it'll allow the fastest download speeds and usage WORLDWIDE. Solid.

Ok, the 5s - Now this is something ... It looks a lot like the 5, although now in addition to the "black" and "white", comes in the swanky "champagne gold" color, but its what's UNDER the hood that counts. 2 years ago (can u believe it?) we got Siri. This year, we get the Touch ID. That little "home" button that does everything on the phone now scans and recognizes the user/owner's fingerprint adding for greater security to your phone. It seems you can program it to only respond only to you so even if someone can get past your passcode, the phone will still be useless to them if it doesn't recognize their ID ... which is cool.

Also, the Touch ID is used in the general touch screen interface say when making app and in-app purchases, as opposed to continually and repeatedly needing to put in your password. Neat.


Also, the 5s comes with the upgraded "A7" chip (iPhone 5 uses A6). Basically its a faster processor, and smart phones need to continually boost their processors to handle the increasing demands of our digital age. So you'll have the best on the market in the iPhone 5s, and with the greater LTE service also found in the 5c, there should be nothing this phone can't do better than what's currently sitting in your pocket.

Lastly, both the 5c & 5s will come loaded with iOs7 - the newest operating system that has some cute new features. You don't need to buy the new phones to get it, of course. You can just download it. Unless ur lazy ... which you are.

So should you get either phone? -- Well if you have anything less than the iPhone 5 - Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. But if you already HAVE the iPhone 5, you can prob skip the 5c unless you desperately need some more color in your life. It won't outperform your 5.

The 5s, however? If you can get it for the new contract price? -- Its definitely worth the consideration. The Touch ID is pretty cool and the stronger A7 chip will carry the phone nicely through 2014 when we should get the iPhone 6.

Just my 2 cents. Spend it wisely.

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INSTANTLY hung out on a VINE ...

So just as quickly as it was starting to get momentum, Twitter's video sharing app - "VINE" may have just hit a big ol roadblock known as Instagram.

For those that aren't too familiar with what Vine is, its essentially "Instagram with videos instead of pictures" ... 7 second videos that loop, so you follow whomever you like, and watch short little video glimpses into their world. Its actually very fun.

But Instagram (which is owned by Facebook) must have thought - "hold the fuck up, one minute here ..." and issued the following update to THEIR social media app just today:

Essentially, they will now be offering EXACTLY what Vine does, only they'll be doing it bigger, with 15 second videos instead of just 7 (that's twice as long, math-wiz ...), and with Instagram's already staggeringly colossal subscriber base, why on earth would anybody now have any need for Vine?

Exactly.

Twitter may still be king when it comes to quick updates and #hashtags, but this round goes to Facebook & Co.

Although, hopefully not "too little - too late", Vine DID foray into unprecedented territory this week, launching the very first Vine Soap Opera, courtesy of the Logo Network. As of 2 days ago, the Vine app will feature 22 episodes (1 each day) of The Vines of Sauvignon Blanc, a scripted soap where each episode will only be 6 seconds long. Doesn't sound like much, right? Well its actually quite interesting to see the cleverness of what people put together with such fixed and definitive time constraints.

A cool idea is a cool idea, and hopefully Vine does stick around, and new creative things like this can emerge because of it. Follow the Logo Vine account @LogoTV to check out this mini soap experiment.

Thanks for reading!!

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Why SUPERMAN RETURNS was BETTER than MAN OF STEEL ... Yep, you read that right ...

Ok, so I watched one of the more eagerly anticipated Summer films of 2013 - Man of Steel - from Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan ... Those are big names, right? Nolan rocked out the Dark Knight flicks, right? Should be GOOD, right? ... Right??

Well, as this is the SECOND time since the Christopher Reeve Superman films that they've attempted to reinvigorate the franchise, I decided to measure this new one against the widely criticized Superman Returns (2006) and see which soared higher in all the categories that matter:

Superman

Superman Return's Brandon Routh vs. Man of Steel's Henry Cavill was tough to call. Routh standing at 6ft 3, appeared a bit more "super" in stature next to the common man, but Cavill still came off as the more manly "man of steel". Being a bit more built, having facial hair, and a cooler costume made all the difference. Also there were plenty of scenes of Superman treating the U.S. Military like his "red-headed step children", showing off just how "alpha" he was.

Winner: Man of Steel

Clark Kent

This was no contest. While Routh's "floundering" CK was spot on and a zillion times better than his Superman, Cavill was completely empty throughout, not even donning the trademark nerd glasses till the last scene of the movie. His "struggle to fit in" was a joke as he had almost ZERO dialogue with anyone as just plain "Clark" for the entire 2 and half hours. Jonathan and Martha Kent, and a random priest. That's all. No single opportunity taken to develop any personality or character which is a waste, as the managing both alter-egos is one of the few things that makes Superman even interesting.

Winner: Superman Returns

Supporting Cast

Man of Steel had Russell Crowe as Jor-El and you can bet he'll deliver on everything you need him to. This time was no exception. Michael Shannon's Zod was a solid and interesting take on the character, though nowhere near Terrence Stamp's slick, calculating, and menacing Zod of Superman II. The accolades for MOS stop there though. Laurence Fishburne as Perry White? I didn't get it. All his scenes that didn't involve Lois Lane were meaningless yet there were a LOT of them, only needlessly expanding the movie's running time. Amy Adams as Lois in MOS was superior to Kate Bosworth in SR, but that's not saying much. Movie makers seem to have no idea how to cast this role anymore. Margot Kidder was perfect. Terri Hatcher was pretty damn good too. It's been nothing but a series of misses since then. On the flip-side, Superman Returns had Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. That alone gives SR the edge. His performance was magnificent and almost on par with Gene Hackman. Jimmy Olsen was an enjoyable sidekick again in SR as was James Marsden's portrayal of a "normal guy trying to compete with Superman for the affection of woman".

Winner: Superman Returns

Action

While SR needed to drop in a lot of noticeable action filler just to try and keep viewers invested, MOS was almost the total opposite. The action was basically non-stop. It definitely filled the summer movie quota for fire, explosions, destruction and face-punching. Even characters like Jor-El and Lois got to play action hero at different times, but the best fight had to be Superman vs. Zod's henchwoman Faora. Terrific. Although at times it became a bit "Michael Bay-ish" ... Its rare to hear anyone clamoring for MORE cgi and wild reckless camera swinging, yet MOS went all in on it. Nevertheless, a superhero movie needs action and MOS gave you all you could stand, and then some.

Winner: Man of Steel


Story

I don't know if there's an unwritten rule that -- "superhero movies NEED to be linear" ... But superhero movies need to linear. The fractured, haphazard story telling of MOS - "let's start in the past, then jump to the present, and then back to the past, and back to the present again, and then fill in any other holes with flashbacks of different points in Clark's childhood" ... only resulted in killing any momentum the film was trying to build. Trying to go "too deep" and be unnecessarily stylistic only results in clutter.

Winner: Superman Returns


Overall Ambition

MOS made a few tweaks with Superman's tale -- No mention of "kryptonite"; a female "Jenny Olsen" instead of "Jimmy Olsen", etc. Nothing unforgivable. And they added some stuff to the background story of Krypton which was cool. But what else? "Clark was bullied as a kid for being different"? Yawn. So what? "People fear what they don't understand"? Oh, THAT again? ... Who cares? ... And then -- Zod. He should NOT have been the intro villain. Its an origin story, meaning we are just getting introduced to who Superman is and his relationship with the world ... That relationship can't be illustrated by pitting him against someone who is exactly the same as him. All you get are 2 godlike powerhouses knocking each other around while humanity sits and watches like - "huh? ... Oh one of them is on OUR side?! Oh, ok. Cool." -- Bleh.

Superman Returns, to its credit, took more creative chances with its general content. Superman as kinda "skeevy", leering in windows, lusting after Lois (another man's woman)? -- A little unnerving, but hey! Why not? ... Lex actually actually (finally) engaging in the fistacuffs with Supes? -- About time! ... Ok, everybody hated "Super kid" in SR. I did too. That was horse shit, and also the story completely ignoring episodes III and IV and taking place directly following Superman II? ... Yeah. Not cool either. But still - All in all? Movie to movie?

Winner: Superman Returns


Boom. Superman Returns -- superior to Man Of Steel.

And with the final verdict for the new movie --

the rating system:

Loved it - one of the best movies I've seen in a long time and worth every cent of the ticket price. I can't state enough how much u need to go see this movie ...

Liked it - it was an enjoyable flick for the most part and I'm glad I watched it. Will I run out to buy it when released on video? ... Probably not.

Leave it - ranging from the truly forgettable to the "wait a minute ... that didn't make any sense" in the 1st 5 minutes after I leave the theater. Basically - a whole lotta nothin.

Loathed it - a movie that literally makes me ANGRY after I exit and for days and weeks after. Angry that I wasted my time and money, and angry that such a piece of shit was ever made and that people actually received payment to do so.

Leave it. Not "terrible", but nowhere close to "Can't miss movie of Summer 2013". Star Trek still holds that honor. But its only June, still. We'll see what happens.

Thanks for reading! All comments, agreements, and disagreements are welcome! Would love to hear your thoughts of the film!

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the Top 10 Things Learned from the Season Premiere of GAME of THRONES

Finally! Winter has arrived! The season premiere for the best show on television, Game of Thrones finally aired this past Sunday, and it was absolutely fantastic! The only complaint is that 1 hour just isn't enough! Oh, and we could have used a little Arya in this episode ... But nevertheless, it was awesome, and to help tide over the wait till Sunday's next new episode, I figured it would be cool to discuss GofT midweek, now that we have had time to digest ...

But rather than just talk about "oh, this was cool ...", and "hey, what about that? ..." (since everything sorta rocks anyway), I decided to put together a list of the Top 10 Things Learned from the Season Premiere.

#1 - Samwise: Good -- Samwell: Bad

Both Sams may be portly sidekicks of their respective stories, but while Samwise Gamgee (of Lord of the Rings) takes the MVP, our own Samwell Tarly drops the ball every damn time. Story opened up with him running for his life from the White Walkers, and after being rescued by his fellow Nights Watchmen, was asked if he'd released the ravens (giving the alert of the monstrous invasion) ... He hadn't. It was Samwell's ONLY task, and he couldn't get it done. Tsk, tsk.  He'll get it right one day, I hope!

#2 - Giants are Shy

Holy crap! Giants!!! Jon Snow was surprised to see one for the very first time in his life, now, deep, north of the wall in Wilding territory. He's quickly warned not to stare long as Giants go from being shy, to turning angry ... and then its hammer time ...


#3 - Dragons Cook their own Meals

Daenerys's babies are getting big and FAST! ... Maybe not fast enough for the Khaleesi, but they can already hunt down food for themselves, and fire up the stove afterwards!






#4 - Robb Stark holds Grudges

Robb's mommy, Catelyn Stark, freed arch-nemesis and "King Slayer" Jamie Lannister last season in an attempt to barter his life for her 2 daughters she believes still trapped in King's Landing. Robb's soldiers took exception to this rogue act, as did Robb, and we still find him salty as ever at dear mom. Wherever they go, he makes sure to have a prison cell handy with her name on it.

#5 - Always be Loyal to One's own Truth ...

Shocker!! Davos, the right hand of #TeamStannis is ALIVE, having survived the Battle at Blackwater last season and has been marooned on a rock in the middle of the sea ever since. The good news is that a ship has found him. The bad news is that he doesn't know if they are friends or foes and when questioned of which "True King" he serves, he has a HUGE problem on hand ... He has NO IDEA who won the assault at Blackwater, and claiming allegiance to the wrong side could very well leave him stranded on that rock again, or WORSE! ... Hence, not knowing the "correct" thing to say, he simply states what HE believes and affirms he allegiance to Stannis Baratheon ... It was a good call!!

#6 - When Vacationing in a Foreign Land, its Helpful to Learn some of the Language

Daenerys is shopping for Unsullied and the dude selling the soulless soldiers is quite the asshole ... But Daeny doesn't catch on to the nastiness and disrespect as she can't understand a word he is saying ... Although the Khaleesi DID pick up Dothraki pretty quick, so ... points for THAT, I guess ...

#7 - Men need Nipples ... or maybe they don't? ...

Thee most difficult to watch scene of the night -- In attempt to display the fearlessness and obedience of the Unsullied, one of them has his nipple chopped off without any reluctance, hesitation, or even a whimper of pain. Dedication. *still cringing*



#8 - Cersei's ALWAYS been a bitch ... and she wears Armor to Dinner

During a great conversation with her brother Tyrion, we learn that even back at the tender age of 9, Cersei felt no remorse for the lives she destroyed. At the time she had her soldiers beat another 9 year old girl to the point of losing an eye, to teach the child a lesson about stealing ...

Later on in the episode, we find Cersei at dinner with her son King Joffrey and his newly betrothed, Lady Margaery Tyrell. Its a good thing Cersei's wearing her dining armor, as the 2 women engage in a spectacular verbal jousting session, with the Queen stunned to discover hat she might have met her match in this seemingly benign, yet intelligent and manipulative adversary ... Do NOT sleep on Lady Margaery. She's no punk like Sansa.


#9 - Tywin Lannister will NOT win 'Father of the Year'

There is so much awesomeness that is yet to come of Tywin serving as Hand of the King! But before that gets underway, Tyrion had a bone to pick with dear old dad, particularly about his rights towards Casterly Rock - the Lannister Family stronghold. What follows is the most horrific berating a father has bestowed upon his son in recent television history. The usually clever and sharp tongued Tyrion was left speechless in his defeat ... You almost wanted to cry on his behalf.

#10 - Children will be the Death of You

Oh, soft-hearted Daenerys ... A smiling child wants to play with you so you are so easily drawn in ... "Open the ball" you say? ... Sure! Why not?! ... Oops, wait. There's a killer scorpion monster inside. You're gonna have to be a LOT more careful talking to strangers, pretty lady.

Cannot wait till the next episode!!!!

Game of Thrones airs Sundays @ 9pm on HBO

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