Saturday, February 5, 2011

Thinking Outside the BOXing

And JUST because I'm in the mood for talking Boxing right now, for your reading satisfaction - Behold!

The Top 10 Greatest Boxing Things EVER!
(in no particular order  in order!)


Socker Boppers - There's a thought! Give kids inflatable plastic mitts and encourage them to wail on each other till they are sore and tired and quiet. Now THAT'S what I call "parenting"! I love everything about this! Think you can withstand this kid's overhand right? (whatever you answered, you're wrong)


The Fighter - The movie I JUST reviewed for you! Are there BETTER boxing movies than this? No. I mean "Yes". I mean ... read my review. Definitely the best boxing movie Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg starred in in 2010! That's a promise!


Balrog - The 1st underboss and one of the whackest combatants in Street Fighter 2. He's kinda a pushover, and the only fighter in the game that can't kick, but he IS the iconic "boxer" character in the greatest one on one fighter franchise in video game history. Little known fact - originally he was named "M. Bison", but he too closely resembled "Mike Tyson", so his name was swapped with the red cap wearing boss of SF2 in the American release.


Carl "The Tooth" Williams - The parody of Carl "The Truth", portrayed HILARIOUSLY by Jamie Foxx on the hit sketch comedy series In Living Color. Next to "Wanda", maybe his best character ever. If you've never seen it? - Youtube is your friend. Make time to visit.


Rocky IV - Rocky single-handedly defeats Communism and wins the Cold War for the United States. "There's No Easy Way Out", the death of Apollo Creed, and arguably the greatest fight training musical montage you've ever seen when training in the mountains of the Soviet Union ... but still not the BEST Rocky film ... yeah, I said it!

Twilight Zone ep. "Steel" - In a future where the sport of boxing is only done by robots, a human boxer disguises himself as a battling robot in order to compete in the ring to win the prize money. It's man vs. machine where the outcome is hardly ever in question, but a true showcase of human spirit and determination.


Laila Ali vs. Christy Martin - August 23rd, 2003 - Muhammad Ali's daughter gives "the Coal Miner's daughter" an ass whooping of a lifetime. Martin was legendary, although most would say WAY past her prime when she got in the ring with Ali who outclassed her in EVERY way. It lasted 4 rounds, but it wasn't a match. It was an execution.


Homer Simpson vs. Drederick Tatum - "Homer's not a 'boxer', he's just a ... 'Freak!'" - the words of Homer's fight manager Moe when approached with the chance for Homer to take on the heavyweight champ. The huge purse - win or lose - is enough to change Moe's mind to put Homer in the ring which will most likely be his tomb. Brilliant.

Rocky III - 2 words: "Clubber Lang". 4 words: "Eye of the Tiger". 6 MORE words: "Hulk Hogan's acting debut as Thunderlips". All that plus the time tested awesomeness of "former enemies working together (Rocky & Apollo) to take down the new evil". Many people argue 3's superiority over 4, but this movie changed 'running on the beach' now and forever, and had one of the greatest closing sequences in cinematic history.

Mike Tyson's Punch Out - If you played the Nintendo Entertainment System in the 80's then you understand. Best boxing video game ever. Glass Joe. Piston Honda. Soda Popinski. Nuff said.  

No comments:

Post a Comment