Smallville Finale - a Super disappointment?

Whether you never watched it before, were riding with the show for the 1st couple seasons and just gave up, or somehow stuck it out to the end, like me, most people couldn't help but know that Smallville, the longtime CW drama about a young Clark Kent before he became Superman, came to a close with its 2 hour series finale last night.

For those that DIDN'T tune in, but are curious enough to wonder, all I can say is ... they tried. The episode started with Chloe, played by the undeniable Allison Mack, telling the tale of "Smallville" to her son, 7 years in the future. With the ep that followed then being a flashback of her story, we know then that at least SHE survives, but it then makes us wonder if "Chloe" was ever actually part of the real saga at all.

The rest of the finale involved Clark and Lois both flip-flopping about their decision to walk down the aisle together, the resurrection of Lex Luthor, and the final battle with ultimate Superman villain - Darkseid. A good finale often aims to wrap up lingering questions, and tries to deliver it all to you with a final bang. Smallville did just that, only the sound of their "bang" was muffled by the mess of everything else.

Here's what they did right:

The Return of Lex
Michael Rosenbaum's Lex Luthor has been one of Smallville's secret weapons from the start. Resurrecting Superman's arch-nemesis (even as shabbily a cop-out as a "clone") was necessary to wrap things up. The ep "explains" why Lex has no memory of growing up in Smallville with Clark, Lionel Luthor, etc., and they also show the evolution of "Luthor Corp" to "Lex Corp".

The Return of Jonathan Kent
As the ghost of Clark's late father who died several season's back, John Schneider's Papa Kent got a lot of screen time as the figurative and literal guiding spirit for Clark this ep. Their relationship has made for some of the most powerful and heartfelt moments throughout the run of the series, and it was extremely poetic (even close to tear-jerking) to have him there as the father finally giving his son his blessings to becoming a man embracing his destiny, and ultimately passing him the iconic Superman suit to wear for the very 1st time. Perfect.

The Daily Planet
We got to see the evolution of the "major metropolitan newspaper" to be run by Editor-in-Chief Perry White, the return of Aaron Ashmore as Jimmy Olsen (the younger brother of the Jimmy Olsen that was killed by Doomsday 2 seasons ago ... but for some reason has the same name ...), and Erica Durance's Lois Lane growing from the small-time journalist to the star field reporter. It gave it all a tight sense of the Superman legacy that we knew.

Here's what they did wrong:

No Lana Lang
If you needed a "reason" to watch Smallville, the smoking hot Kristen Kreuk was always it. Her final departure from the show as Lana, although one of the finest scenes in Smallville history, was extremely regrettable, but you figure with a 2 hour series finale, they could somehow work her into the story for one last goodbye? Nope! We were very much cheated.

No Anybody ELSE!!
Not only was there no Lana, there were no cameos by any other significant characters that appeared during the run of the show. Was hoping they could somehow dig up childhood friend Pete, played by Sam Jones III ... afterall, it was Clark's wedding, right? No such luck. And the no-shows didn't stop there. None of Clark's other Super-friends appeared - Zatanna, Impulse, Cyborg, Black Canary, Martian Manhunter, Auqaman ... NOBODY. There was also an "end of the world" backdrop to the show where Lois pleaded with the President and State Secretary to give Earth's heroes a chance to save the world. Ok ... So where the hell WERE they?!

Darkseid - lamest Big Bad EVER
The whole season was sorta a drawn out *yawn*. They scarcely showed a fully fleshed out Master of Apokolips, and when they FINALLY did give him "physical form", it was just in the form of a possessed, zombie looking, Lionel Luthor. Lame. Even lamer? - Clark defeats him by just flying right through him and breaking him apart. Really? That was it? Ok. "Clark finally FLEW", which was supposed to be the big take away, but that's the fight the season built up to? And then the ultimate resolution - Clark flying into the sky and pushing the Planet Apokolips back into space ... uhg. Yawning about THAT would even be a waste of a good *yawn*.

Lack of Commitment to the Franchise 
They deliberately refused showing us Tom Welling dressed as Superman. They showed distance shots of "Superman flying" ... close up shots of his face, with the red cape flowing in the back ... and at the end, him running, taking of the glasses, and ripping his shirt to show the Super "S" ... but no straight up shot with him in full uniform. This can't be an accident. I'm guessing Trademark and Licensing constraints were to blame, what with the NEW Superman film coming out soon. Lame.

It didn't stop there. Clark and Lois's wedding was interrupted. Ok, fine. But we see 7 years later and they still aren't married. They are TALKING about tying the knot that DAY, but once again, Clark is forced to rush off to save people in need. Really?

Clark never actually takes on the name "Superman". By the end of the episode nobody has said it or called Clark by the name, even ONCE. T&L again?

Chloe has a son, but they refuse to say Oliver, aka Green Arrow, played by Justin Hartley, is the father, even though they try to elude to it by showing that the kid has a bow & arrow set in his room ... "just like his dad"? Shame on you for that, Smallville.

Whatevz. It's over now. And for all of the good and bad, regardless ... this show will definitely be missed. I offer a sincere and appreciative Thank You, Smallville, for all 10 seasons.

Batman gets his Ass Kicked ... in Vegas

There's just something hilarious about costumed characters getting their asses handed to them ... From clowns to mascots (my personal faves), watching people forced to switch modes from light-hearted, "let's have fun" to suddenly super serious, "Please let me make it home in one piece today" - is just one of the most enjoyable things ever!

Someone should have warned this man on the Vegas strip that just because you DRESS UP as The Dark Knight, doesn't mean you can now fight like him ... But then sometimes the most meaningful of life lessons need to be taught to you in front of dozens of gawking spectators ...

Thanks, once again, goes out to my boy OC for uncovering this!
I love how the people watching don't know what to make of it at first. Is it all part of some show or is this an actual fight going down? That question is answered pretty quickly as with a NEW twist - the bystanders and cops have to come to the HERO's rescue.

Little known fact - the one and only Abe Simpson once moonlighted as a costumed vigilante! Remember how THAT turned out?

And then, of course, all that remains is the post-fight interview of the assailant ...

It's never too early for Halloween fun :)

Ghosts are fun. Pranks are fun. Pranks involving Ghosts, on unsuspecting people (adults that ideally should know better) are the most fun EVER! Halloween is about 6 months away, but it's never too soon to start scaring the shit stuffing outa people ... and then posting it online for the WORLD to appreciate.

Thanks to OC for sharing this one!

I liked it so much, it made me also want to throw in one of my personal faves that you may or may not remember from a while back. (it starts about 30 seconds in) Enjoy!

Man, this Bitch can MOVE!

Along the travels of everyday life, one can happen upon some amazing things. Even if you DON'T physically travel much, per se, don't sweat it - watching TV and surfing the Internet counts as "traveling" too. So by now we're USED to seeing folks offer up Pets that can do incredible things - Surf, Skateboard, Water-ski, Dunk a basketball ... the list goes on.

That being said, you've NEVER seen a Dancing Dog like this! (unless you already have) This Prancing Pooch can Merengue with the best of them, and you'll scratch your head right down to the bone trying to figure out how they trained a Retriever to bring home a Golden performance like this! If you like dogs, dancing, or just thinking "WTF?" while grinning ear to ear - then you're gonna LOVE this!

Thanks, Yoko, for sharing!

Juicy to the Core: This week in Apple News

It's been quite a fun week for Apple. For those of you only slightly paying attention, I'm gonna give you a quick run down!

Last week, negativity came against Apple for the iPhone devices allegedly recording and retaining GPS information of the users. Apple admits that iPhone GPS info is, in some cases, gathered anonymously and transmitted to its servers in an encrypted fashion, but Apple says the information is not retained.

 However, developers Alasdair Allan and Pete Warden recently revealed that the iPhones keep an unprotected record of everywhere they've been on the devices themselves. Thus, as is the next logical step these days, 2 idiots have decided to sue. Vikram Ajjampur and William Devito are the assholes who, no longer content with hours upon hours of enjoyment Apple and their iDevices have given them, claim that Apple is "secretly recording movements of iPhone and iPad users", and are pushing for a class-action suit.

Wednesday night marked the Season Premiere of South Park on Comedy Central, and the episode was Awesome!! I don’t want to give away TOO much, cuz I highly recommend you catch the ep on a re-air, but it again showcased South Park’s uncanny knack for remaining the most topical and timely cartoon ever produced.

The episode was a send-up of not only the 2009 Horror film The Human Centipede, by writer/director Tom Six, but also Apple’s recent “stranglehold” over the market place with their smart devices, and their “customer oppression” by way of their “contracts” and consumer monitoring. The result? Poor Kyle becoming slave to Steve Jobs’s and Apple’s newest technological breakthrough – the HUMANCENTiPAD. Glorious!!

And last, but not least, this week marked the debut, FINALLY, of the eagerly awaited, White iPhone 4! Is it cool looking? You bet! Is it worth actually going out to buy? … eh … No. It’s not. At least not for Apple devotees. For general consumers that have been planning to upgrade to a smart phone, and just kinda a want a good one right now? Then, yeah. White iPhone 4 is for them. You’ll have the coolest, most gawked over phone on the train.

Everyone else already ran out and bought the BLACK iPhone 4 when it was released for Verizon back in February (raises hand), and/or they are waiting for the iPhone 5 which should be announced/released in the next 2 months or so. The only question for them is - how important is it for you to have a White iPhone, and how soon? One can assume that Apple will eventually release a White iPhone 5, but there’s no telling when that will be. 

THE VOICE in my head ...

Admittedly, I was all set to tear apart NBC's newest singing competition show, The Voice; Tuesdays @ 9pm. The comparison to FOX's American Idol is immediate and expected, and within the first several minutes of watching it, the similarities are all so blatant. The cheesey and smarmy back stories of the contestants ... the contrived in-fighting between coaches a la Paula v. Simon ... even the "get-to-know-you and hang out with your family while you perform" host Carson Daly who, despite his competency, is NO Ryan Seacrest. Plus the show being billed as "about  TALENT alone"? Oh please. Get over yourself.

But then, maybe 15 or 20 minutes into it, a funny thing happened. I actually started to LIKE it. The coaches (not "judges") compete against EACH OTHER to assemble a crew of 8 potentially great singers into their stable, only making selections based on what they hear. Once they "approve", they swing around to see just WHO they put a bid in for and that's when it becomes interesting. The coaches only have till the end of the song to decide if they want to work with the contestant or not, and once its over, it is then the CONTESTANT'S choice of who's team they want to join. So there you see the coaches, Maroon 5's Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, and country music star, Blake Shelton, doing the pleading, groveling, petitioning, and ass-kissing to get the contestants to choose them.

And just how ARE the coaches? - Pretty good! Snaps to Mark Burnett Productions for assembling an excellent and capable crew with a good amount of chemistry. Cee Lo is the best of bunch, being "part Randy Jackson, part Steven Tyler". He's easily and obviously the most knowledgeable of the 4 and shows a real interest in actually making someone a star. But Adam Levine is very good too, being the "Paula" of the group, with none of the crazy, yet twice the genuine sincerity. He and Cee Lo play off well with each other. Blake is the "Simon" - hard-nosed and straight up, like any good country singer should be. The most difficult to impress, but seems almost as capable a coach as Cee Lo when it comes to singers he's actually interested in. And then there's Christina Aguilera. Unfortunately, she's "J.Lo meets Kara DioGuardi, with a dash Paula thrown in". Kinda useless, X-tina couldn't care less about the singers up on stage. She's in it for the bicker-flirting with Levine and promoting herself every chance she gets. But that's ok. I've learned to respect and appreciate Aggie for all her screwball antics as of late.

So I suggest that you check it out and get in on the ground floor. The Voice is very entertaining overall with some good singers, some great coaches, and a fun mechanic. A nice little surprise was Frenchie Davis, former American Idol contestant that got booted due to some ... *ahem* .... scandalousness ... showing up to compete. It's nice to see her still going for it, as well as other musical hopefuls who would never make it on Idol aside from the "let's laugh at the Freaks" segments during the open auditions. (although my favorite PART of Idol) 

NBC's finally got a winner with this ... I think The Voice is gonna be huge and Idol should be paying close attention.

Game ... Over. A street fight that ends the only way it could ...

Ahhhh ... Just like the good old days. An old fashioned parking lot brawl. 2 combatants going at it, trying t prove their point. A gaggle of their peers innocently enough bystanding, awaiting the outcome. And the standard expectancy of today - someone whipping out a digital device to record the show and share.

Oh, but did I mention that the 2 people slugging it out aren't "people" at all? Nope! Street side skirmishes are no longer solely reserved for just humans! Check out what happens when these two GEESE decide to throwdown! ... Seriously ... It's an ending that you won't see coming ... or maybe you will :)