I spy with my little I-Phone ...

Last week Apple officially presented TWO (that's more than 1) successors to the iPhone 5 - the "iPhone 5c" and the "iPhone 5s". Awesome, right? But then the question - Are they worth a damn? Or is this just the next installment of the "annual Apple money-grab"?

(official iPhone 5c promo - the cutie in blue is Reni Mimura, Japanese pop singer, actress, and featured performer at Maid Cafe'-NY 

- 150 Centre St. New York, NY)

First - the 5c -Some say the "C" stands for "Color", others say "Cheap". Neither are wrong as the 5c comes in 4 new vivd colors - blue, yellow, pink, and green. And the candy-coated looking device is less expensive with the 16G version being only $99 with a 2 year contract. The reinforced durable plastic body is really the only major change, though, from the iPhone 5. Small tweaks include a slightly improved camera and expanded LTE service. Touted to now have the largest of any phone, it'll allow the fastest download speeds and usage WORLDWIDE. Solid.

Ok, the 5s - Now this is something ... It looks a lot like the 5, although now in addition to the "black" and "white", comes in the swanky "champagne gold" color, but its what's UNDER the hood that counts. 2 years ago (can u believe it?) we got Siri. This year, we get the Touch ID. That little "home" button that does everything on the phone now scans and recognizes the user/owner's fingerprint adding for greater security to your phone. It seems you can program it to only respond only to you so even if someone can get past your passcode, the phone will still be useless to them if it doesn't recognize their ID ... which is cool.

Also, the Touch ID is used in the general touch screen interface say when making app and in-app purchases, as opposed to continually and repeatedly needing to put in your password. Neat.


Also, the 5s comes with the upgraded "A7" chip (iPhone 5 uses A6). Basically its a faster processor, and smart phones need to continually boost their processors to handle the increasing demands of our digital age. So you'll have the best on the market in the iPhone 5s, and with the greater LTE service also found in the 5c, there should be nothing this phone can't do better than what's currently sitting in your pocket.

Lastly, both the 5c & 5s will come loaded with iOs7 - the newest operating system that has some cute new features. You don't need to buy the new phones to get it, of course. You can just download it. Unless ur lazy ... which you are.

So should you get either phone? -- Well if you have anything less than the iPhone 5 - Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. But if you already HAVE the iPhone 5, you can prob skip the 5c unless you desperately need some more color in your life. It won't outperform your 5.

The 5s, however? If you can get it for the new contract price? -- Its definitely worth the consideration. The Touch ID is pretty cool and the stronger A7 chip will carry the phone nicely through 2014 when we should get the iPhone 6.

Just my 2 cents. Spend it wisely.

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INSTANTLY hung out on a VINE ...

So just as quickly as it was starting to get momentum, Twitter's video sharing app - "VINE" may have just hit a big ol roadblock known as Instagram.

For those that aren't too familiar with what Vine is, its essentially "Instagram with videos instead of pictures" ... 7 second videos that loop, so you follow whomever you like, and watch short little video glimpses into their world. Its actually very fun.

But Instagram (which is owned by Facebook) must have thought - "hold the fuck up, one minute here ..." and issued the following update to THEIR social media app just today:

Essentially, they will now be offering EXACTLY what Vine does, only they'll be doing it bigger, with 15 second videos instead of just 7 (that's twice as long, math-wiz ...), and with Instagram's already staggeringly colossal subscriber base, why on earth would anybody now have any need for Vine?

Exactly.

Twitter may still be king when it comes to quick updates and #hashtags, but this round goes to Facebook & Co.

Although, hopefully not "too little - too late", Vine DID foray into unprecedented territory this week, launching the very first Vine Soap Opera, courtesy of the Logo Network. As of 2 days ago, the Vine app will feature 22 episodes (1 each day) of The Vines of Sauvignon Blanc, a scripted soap where each episode will only be 6 seconds long. Doesn't sound like much, right? Well its actually quite interesting to see the cleverness of what people put together with such fixed and definitive time constraints.

A cool idea is a cool idea, and hopefully Vine does stick around, and new creative things like this can emerge because of it. Follow the Logo Vine account @LogoTV to check out this mini soap experiment.

Thanks for reading!!

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Why SUPERMAN RETURNS was BETTER than MAN OF STEEL ... Yep, you read that right ...

Ok, so I watched one of the more eagerly anticipated Summer films of 2013 - Man of Steel - from Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan ... Those are big names, right? Nolan rocked out the Dark Knight flicks, right? Should be GOOD, right? ... Right??

Well, as this is the SECOND time since the Christopher Reeve Superman films that they've attempted to reinvigorate the franchise, I decided to measure this new one against the widely criticized Superman Returns (2006) and see which soared higher in all the categories that matter:

Superman

Superman Return's Brandon Routh vs. Man of Steel's Henry Cavill was tough to call. Routh standing at 6ft 3, appeared a bit more "super" in stature next to the common man, but Cavill still came off as the more manly "man of steel". Being a bit more built, having facial hair, and a cooler costume made all the difference. Also there were plenty of scenes of Superman treating the U.S. Military like his "red-headed step children", showing off just how "alpha" he was.

Winner: Man of Steel

Clark Kent

This was no contest. While Routh's "floundering" CK was spot on and a zillion times better than his Superman, Cavill was completely empty throughout, not even donning the trademark nerd glasses till the last scene of the movie. His "struggle to fit in" was a joke as he had almost ZERO dialogue with anyone as just plain "Clark" for the entire 2 and half hours. Jonathan and Martha Kent, and a random priest. That's all. No single opportunity taken to develop any personality or character which is a waste, as the managing both alter-egos is one of the few things that makes Superman even interesting.

Winner: Superman Returns

Supporting Cast

Man of Steel had Russell Crowe as Jor-El and you can bet he'll deliver on everything you need him to. This time was no exception. Michael Shannon's Zod was a solid and interesting take on the character, though nowhere near Terrence Stamp's slick, calculating, and menacing Zod of Superman II. The accolades for MOS stop there though. Laurence Fishburne as Perry White? I didn't get it. All his scenes that didn't involve Lois Lane were meaningless yet there were a LOT of them, only needlessly expanding the movie's running time. Amy Adams as Lois in MOS was superior to Kate Bosworth in SR, but that's not saying much. Movie makers seem to have no idea how to cast this role anymore. Margot Kidder was perfect. Terri Hatcher was pretty damn good too. It's been nothing but a series of misses since then. On the flip-side, Superman Returns had Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. That alone gives SR the edge. His performance was magnificent and almost on par with Gene Hackman. Jimmy Olsen was an enjoyable sidekick again in SR as was James Marsden's portrayal of a "normal guy trying to compete with Superman for the affection of woman".

Winner: Superman Returns

Action

While SR needed to drop in a lot of noticeable action filler just to try and keep viewers invested, MOS was almost the total opposite. The action was basically non-stop. It definitely filled the summer movie quota for fire, explosions, destruction and face-punching. Even characters like Jor-El and Lois got to play action hero at different times, but the best fight had to be Superman vs. Zod's henchwoman Faora. Terrific. Although at times it became a bit "Michael Bay-ish" ... Its rare to hear anyone clamoring for MORE cgi and wild reckless camera swinging, yet MOS went all in on it. Nevertheless, a superhero movie needs action and MOS gave you all you could stand, and then some.

Winner: Man of Steel


Story

I don't know if there's an unwritten rule that -- "superhero movies NEED to be linear" ... But superhero movies need to linear. The fractured, haphazard story telling of MOS - "let's start in the past, then jump to the present, and then back to the past, and back to the present again, and then fill in any other holes with flashbacks of different points in Clark's childhood" ... only resulted in killing any momentum the film was trying to build. Trying to go "too deep" and be unnecessarily stylistic only results in clutter.

Winner: Superman Returns


Overall Ambition

MOS made a few tweaks with Superman's tale -- No mention of "kryptonite"; a female "Jenny Olsen" instead of "Jimmy Olsen", etc. Nothing unforgivable. And they added some stuff to the background story of Krypton which was cool. But what else? "Clark was bullied as a kid for being different"? Yawn. So what? "People fear what they don't understand"? Oh, THAT again? ... Who cares? ... And then -- Zod. He should NOT have been the intro villain. Its an origin story, meaning we are just getting introduced to who Superman is and his relationship with the world ... That relationship can't be illustrated by pitting him against someone who is exactly the same as him. All you get are 2 godlike powerhouses knocking each other around while humanity sits and watches like - "huh? ... Oh one of them is on OUR side?! Oh, ok. Cool." -- Bleh.

Superman Returns, to its credit, took more creative chances with its general content. Superman as kinda "skeevy", leering in windows, lusting after Lois (another man's woman)? -- A little unnerving, but hey! Why not? ... Lex actually actually (finally) engaging in the fistacuffs with Supes? -- About time! ... Ok, everybody hated "Super kid" in SR. I did too. That was horse shit, and also the story completely ignoring episodes III and IV and taking place directly following Superman II? ... Yeah. Not cool either. But still - All in all? Movie to movie?

Winner: Superman Returns


Boom. Superman Returns -- superior to Man Of Steel.

And with the final verdict for the new movie --

the rating system:

Loved it - one of the best movies I've seen in a long time and worth every cent of the ticket price. I can't state enough how much u need to go see this movie ...

Liked it - it was an enjoyable flick for the most part and I'm glad I watched it. Will I run out to buy it when released on video? ... Probably not.

Leave it - ranging from the truly forgettable to the "wait a minute ... that didn't make any sense" in the 1st 5 minutes after I leave the theater. Basically - a whole lotta nothin.

Loathed it - a movie that literally makes me ANGRY after I exit and for days and weeks after. Angry that I wasted my time and money, and angry that such a piece of shit was ever made and that people actually received payment to do so.

Leave it. Not "terrible", but nowhere close to "Can't miss movie of Summer 2013". Star Trek still holds that honor. But its only June, still. We'll see what happens.

Thanks for reading! All comments, agreements, and disagreements are welcome! Would love to hear your thoughts of the film!

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the Top 10 Things Learned from the Season Premiere of GAME of THRONES

Finally! Winter has arrived! The season premiere for the best show on television, Game of Thrones finally aired this past Sunday, and it was absolutely fantastic! The only complaint is that 1 hour just isn't enough! Oh, and we could have used a little Arya in this episode ... But nevertheless, it was awesome, and to help tide over the wait till Sunday's next new episode, I figured it would be cool to discuss GofT midweek, now that we have had time to digest ...

But rather than just talk about "oh, this was cool ...", and "hey, what about that? ..." (since everything sorta rocks anyway), I decided to put together a list of the Top 10 Things Learned from the Season Premiere.

#1 - Samwise: Good -- Samwell: Bad

Both Sams may be portly sidekicks of their respective stories, but while Samwise Gamgee (of Lord of the Rings) takes the MVP, our own Samwell Tarly drops the ball every damn time. Story opened up with him running for his life from the White Walkers, and after being rescued by his fellow Nights Watchmen, was asked if he'd released the ravens (giving the alert of the monstrous invasion) ... He hadn't. It was Samwell's ONLY task, and he couldn't get it done. Tsk, tsk.  He'll get it right one day, I hope!

#2 - Giants are Shy

Holy crap! Giants!!! Jon Snow was surprised to see one for the very first time in his life, now, deep, north of the wall in Wilding territory. He's quickly warned not to stare long as Giants go from being shy, to turning angry ... and then its hammer time ...


#3 - Dragons Cook their own Meals

Daenerys's babies are getting big and FAST! ... Maybe not fast enough for the Khaleesi, but they can already hunt down food for themselves, and fire up the stove afterwards!






#4 - Robb Stark holds Grudges

Robb's mommy, Catelyn Stark, freed arch-nemesis and "King Slayer" Jamie Lannister last season in an attempt to barter his life for her 2 daughters she believes still trapped in King's Landing. Robb's soldiers took exception to this rogue act, as did Robb, and we still find him salty as ever at dear mom. Wherever they go, he makes sure to have a prison cell handy with her name on it.

#5 - Always be Loyal to One's own Truth ...

Shocker!! Davos, the right hand of #TeamStannis is ALIVE, having survived the Battle at Blackwater last season and has been marooned on a rock in the middle of the sea ever since. The good news is that a ship has found him. The bad news is that he doesn't know if they are friends or foes and when questioned of which "True King" he serves, he has a HUGE problem on hand ... He has NO IDEA who won the assault at Blackwater, and claiming allegiance to the wrong side could very well leave him stranded on that rock again, or WORSE! ... Hence, not knowing the "correct" thing to say, he simply states what HE believes and affirms he allegiance to Stannis Baratheon ... It was a good call!!

#6 - When Vacationing in a Foreign Land, its Helpful to Learn some of the Language

Daenerys is shopping for Unsullied and the dude selling the soulless soldiers is quite the asshole ... But Daeny doesn't catch on to the nastiness and disrespect as she can't understand a word he is saying ... Although the Khaleesi DID pick up Dothraki pretty quick, so ... points for THAT, I guess ...

#7 - Men need Nipples ... or maybe they don't? ...

Thee most difficult to watch scene of the night -- In attempt to display the fearlessness and obedience of the Unsullied, one of them has his nipple chopped off without any reluctance, hesitation, or even a whimper of pain. Dedication. *still cringing*



#8 - Cersei's ALWAYS been a bitch ... and she wears Armor to Dinner

During a great conversation with her brother Tyrion, we learn that even back at the tender age of 9, Cersei felt no remorse for the lives she destroyed. At the time she had her soldiers beat another 9 year old girl to the point of losing an eye, to teach the child a lesson about stealing ...

Later on in the episode, we find Cersei at dinner with her son King Joffrey and his newly betrothed, Lady Margaery Tyrell. Its a good thing Cersei's wearing her dining armor, as the 2 women engage in a spectacular verbal jousting session, with the Queen stunned to discover hat she might have met her match in this seemingly benign, yet intelligent and manipulative adversary ... Do NOT sleep on Lady Margaery. She's no punk like Sansa.


#9 - Tywin Lannister will NOT win 'Father of the Year'

There is so much awesomeness that is yet to come of Tywin serving as Hand of the King! But before that gets underway, Tyrion had a bone to pick with dear old dad, particularly about his rights towards Casterly Rock - the Lannister Family stronghold. What follows is the most horrific berating a father has bestowed upon his son in recent television history. The usually clever and sharp tongued Tyrion was left speechless in his defeat ... You almost wanted to cry on his behalf.

#10 - Children will be the Death of You

Oh, soft-hearted Daenerys ... A smiling child wants to play with you so you are so easily drawn in ... "Open the ball" you say? ... Sure! Why not?! ... Oops, wait. There's a killer scorpion monster inside. You're gonna have to be a LOT more careful talking to strangers, pretty lady.

Cannot wait till the next episode!!!!

Game of Thrones airs Sundays @ 9pm on HBO

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Is this a G.I. f'n JOKE?

So G.I. Joe: Retaliation has FINALLY come out and I, for one, ran out to watch it! Was that a "good" idea? ... In a word? - No. In fact, the term "good idea" cannot be attributed in ANY way to ANYTHING involved with this movie.

The film was originally slated to come out last summer, but for undisclosed reasons, the release date for Retaliation got pushed back. That's RARELY an encouraging sign for a movie, but I'm 95% sure it had mostly to do with the cross-promotional advertising exposure they had at their disposal, with the star, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, also headlining WWE Wrestlemania 29 next Sunday.

The story was convoluted and ridiculous. Cobra replaced the President of the U.S. with Zartan, the master of disguise, and he orders the extermination of G.I. Joe, branding them as criminals. The surviving members of the Joe team, led by "the Rock" as Roadblock, now have to uncover the conspiracy and liberate the U.S. government that doesn't even know it has been compromised.

Not enough for ya? Well Cobra also has to mount their own rescue for an imprisoned Cobra Commander, Snake Eyes is on his own mission to capture Storm Shadow and make him answer for his crimes, and on top of that, Cobra has a crazy new super weapon that they're using in tandem with their governmental control in order to bring the entire WORLD to its' knees ...

It felt like 10 separate movies strung together, with all of it just being "uhg". Couldn't care less about anything that was happening. Each character was completely (and literally) summed up in one monologue a piece, explaining their background and their motivation ... Or they did absolutely nothing (Flint may just be the WORST action movie character of all time). You'd think the fight scenes could save it? You'd be wrong. Terrible, and exhausting, and boring ... And don't get me started on Jinx ... and also the shittiness of RZA being in this movie ... for some reason ...

Was there ANYTHING good? Well, "the Rock" was fine, I guess. He always brings a good energy to whatever he's doing. And new addition to team Cobra, the explosives expert, Firefly, had some ok moments ... But, yeah. That's all that can be said for it.

the rating system:

Loved it - one of the best movies I've seen in a long time and worth every cent of the ticket price. I can't state enough how much u need to go see this movie ...

Liked it - it was an enjoyable flick for the most part and I'm glad I watched it. Will I run out to buy it when released on video? ... Probably not.

Leave it - ranging from the truly forgettable to the "wait a minute ... that didn't make any sense" in the 1st 5 minutes after I leave the theater. Basically - a whole lotta nothin.

Loathed it - a movie that literally makes me ANGRY after I exit and for days and weeks after. Angry that I wasted my time and money, and angry that such a piece of shit was ever made and that people actually received payment to do so.

Loathed it. Easy.

Almost NONE of the name talent from the 1st film were present in this sequel, and you can see why. The G.I. Joe world has TONS of characters to make use of, and they used like NONE of them. The direction was sloppy ... Even the costuming was a wasted effort ...

For those who thought the first G.I. Joe flick was "lacking" in many capacities, this one makes the former look like a work of art. Its a shame too. "A sequel to a campy action movie based off an 80's cartoon" ... I mean, the bar was ALREADY set fairly low. It should have been child's play to exceed expectations and pull off at least a modest - "fun and enjoyable enough" experience ... Not even close.

But, now you know ... And knowing is likely to save you some time and cash in the long run.

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BITING First Person AWESOMENESS!!

Well, there isn't TOO much to say about this video, and I don't know much about the folks that posted it, but if you haven't watched it yet, you are going to THANK ME for showing it to you!!

It is basically a quick First Person, Extreme Action Adventure featuring some dude trying to escape from an office with some weird Teleport Device he's attempting to steal from these suited up bad guys. Its a Music Video that looks like the future of video gaming or a virtual reality simulation, but really just some VERY clever and fun film-work done using Parkour and a Go Pro camera.

Anyways - Watch it. Love it. Share with your friends. Its the coolest thing you will see all week.

(FYI - this is actually Part 2 of this little saga. You can find Part 1 pretty easily, but this one is better, and you don't NEED to see the first one in order to follow along)

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Beyonce to her fans: "Kiss My Ass"

Far be it from me to kick dirt on Beyonce ... Everyone knows I can't stand her, so it would be quite easy, typical, and fun for me to do ... But I occasionally surprise every time, and in this situation, I'm kinda NOT %100 against her!!

Ok. For those needing to be brought up to speed, Beyonce recently released a taste of her new song "Bow Down" (or "I Been On", or whatever its called), and its been drawing a bit of heat from fans, critics and whomever, due to the content and tone showcasing the bitchier side of 'Queen B".

Its not one of her better songs and its also not the worst, but for someone who has always sung from the platform of "Girl Power", "Women's Advancement" and "Female Unity", for her to then sing - "I know when you were little girls, you dreamt of being in my world ... Don't forget it, don't forget it ... Respect that. Bow down bitches" ... Well its gonna raise an eyebrow.

It certainly did with fellow R&B singer Keyshia Cole, who took to Twitter to voice her disgust. Cole, who I actually really like a lot, has gone at Beyonce and 'Destiny's children' before, so the two have already had their own share of beef to cook, but Cole hasn't been alone in her disapproval.

So Beyonce feels that the little girls who idolize and emulate her are "bitches" and that they need to bow down? Apparently. But to that I say - So what? ... Maybe they SHOULD bow down!

From the start, my problem with Bey was never her looks (she IS pretty hot) nor her music (some of her songs are very catchy) It was always the deep seeded character of a woman whom I could only see as self-serving and completely disingenuous. But, whatever. What do I know, right?

My favorite example is during a stage performance when bandmate Michelle totally eats the floor. Beyonce barely blinks at the replacement's potential injury ... Even Kelly Rowland (who I also hate) at least ALMOST checks a tiny bit to see if Michelle was ok ...

"Professionalism"? Or "I don't give a shit"?

Anyway, Beyonce is a Carter member ... oops, I mean "Charter Member" of the most powerful clique in Entertainment today. For those that thought that she just happened to the top because she's nice and sweet, and just accidentally fell on the throne as the reigning 'Queen of R&B' due to her grace and humility ... You're fucking stupid.

Beyonce can sing about whatever the hell she wants. Those that don't like it, and are "shocked" and "let down"? You're the ones who put her up on that pedestal in the first place, anointing her as something she's not ... Some kind of "Women's Advocate Icon" .... She's just a singer.

Declaring your #1 spot above everyone else is often part of Hip-Hop and R&B. So why criticize her for what everyone else does, and is the "norm" for her medium? ... Is she supposed to be "better than that"? ... Well, for anyone who actually BELIEVES that, you're EXACTLY the bitches who should be bowing down.

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